Cimmerian Sunbeams
by faburizu
Summary: Raven is secretive, isolated and gloomy. Starfire is buoyant, sanguine and the only one who can rescue her. Yuri.
1. Chapter I

"**Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter I**

**---/---**

Radiant amber hues flooded the sky. The underside of the clouds blushed with fiery vermilion shadows. These saturated pigments coated the atmosphere in a gloss of soft idleness. Dawn felt weightless, an intangible perfection within its own. The mesmerizing illusion often went overlooked, as the tower's inhabitants had a fancy for sleeping in. One in particular, however, frequently admired the view. Something about the undisturbed temperament of early morning appeased her. From the window, the seascape illustrated an astonishing scene, the water highlighted in a rainbow of reds. Everything felt so untouched, so ethereal. It was this time of day she felt the most composed.

She sat at the kitchen table, her palms enclosing hot cup of chamomile tea. With one hand, she swept a tress of lavender hair out of her face. It was much too early in the morning for one to be up sipping tea, but she wasn't bothered. She preferred being awake with no one else astir. Content, she listened to the aerial silence, her favorite noise. Gracefully, she brought the warm cup to her lips and sipped the smooth elixir. She treasured the feeling of the saccharine silken liquid traveling down her throat. Everything was sublime. Or at least it seemed so.

Something caught her attention; she could tell not right away what it was. She set the cup down and listened sharply. Her eyes narrowed and she spoke. "Beast Boy," she said, pronouncing the name idly.

A scuffle was heard beneath the couch. A small green mouse scampered into view. It reconstructed itself into Raven's green teammate. "Raven," he said quietly and apprehensively. "How'd you know it was me?"

"I sensed your presence," she stated plainly. "Now tell me. What are you doing hiding under the couch at nearly five in the morning?"

Beast Boy rubbed the back of his neck uncertainly, avoiding eye contact. "Actually, I wanted to—"

"Good morning everybody!" an exuberant voice chirped. Starfire stood in the doorway. Her lengthy auburn hair was in disarray, and her pink silk nightie ended at her thighs.

"You're up early, Beast Boy," a male voice affirmed, behind Starfire. Raven caught sight of Robin behind her, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. The ebony-haired boy yawned. He snaked an arm around the Tamaranian Princess' waist and pulled her body against his. "Good morning, Star."

She laughed, timidly. "Have we not said the good morning before, friend Robin?" He chuckled faintly and grazed her neck from behind. "Robin…"

Raven observed the circumstances from a distance and took another sip of tea. She eyed Robin with reprehension, though he failed to notice.

He let the girl go, and she continued to amble into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator. "Does anybody else crave the juice of orange this morning?" she asked.

"I'll have some," Robin answered.

"Me too," Beast Boy added.

Starfire placed the juice on the table, and brought over a few cups. The team took their seats at the kitchen table: Robin next to Starfire, Beast Boy next to Raven. The dark girl hadn't a glimmering why Beast Boy chose to sit next to her. She was aware that Robin and Starfire had already taken the obtainable seats on the opposite side of the table, but still; sitting in such close parameters of Beast Boy didn't make Raven feel any more comfortable.

"Hey, what's with the party and why wasn't I invited?" a fifth voice said. Cyborg walked in. "Why are we up so early?" he asked, after a yawn.

"Don't ask me," Raven replied in a low voice.

"Perhaps because today is going to be a beauteous day!"

The lavender-haired-girl looked at Starfire, unsure how the ginger-haired one could maintain such terribly positive outlook. Raven considered it for a moment, allowing her mind to wander. Even if she _tried_ to think of something so affirming and sunny, it wouldn't be long before she found something dark to bring it down. Raven certainly wasn't one to look on the bright side. She wondered what exactly went through her teammates mind as she contemplated such cheery thoughts.

"So what's for breakfast this morning, Beast Boy?" Cyborg asked, his arms folded across his chest and a smirk on his face.

"What we _should_ have for breakfast _every_ morning. Tofu," Beast Boy answered with a grin.

Raven put her cup down. She knew exactly what was to come.

"Well that's too bad, 'cause I'm cookin' some _sausage_."

She rested her elbows on the table, and positioned her pointer and middle fingers on her temples. She could already feel a migraine forming.

"What if I don't _let_ you cook sausage?"

Cyborg laughed. "And what exactly are ya gonna do?"

The green boy narrowed his eyes, and stood from the table. "You know what I'm gonna do."

"Go ahead. Nobody's stoppin' ya!" Beast Boy moved toward Cyborg, his eyes on the package of sausage on the counter behind Cyborg. "It's right there ..." he sang, tauntingly.

Raven rose from her seat and strode out of the kitchen, leaving poor Robin and Starfire to endure their teammates' endless banter.

Once their squabble was over, and Cyborg was happily frying sausage on the stove, Beast Boy took notice that there was one less person in the room. "Where'd Rae go?" he asked, looking around.

"She walked out a while ago," Robin told him, shrugging his shoulders.

A look of grief passed across Beast Boy's face. "Oh," he replied, dejectedly. He shook off the thought and padded into the living room to play video games.

- - -

Raven rested against the wall in her room. She picked up a corner of her cloak and ran it through her fingers. She grabbed a book that was on the top of a stack beside her, and opened it against her lap. Her eyes wouldn't fully adjust to what was written in the book; her mind was roaming elsewhere. She thought of Beast Boy, and why he was awake so early, hidden under the couch like that. Of course her first instinct was that Beast Boy was being immature and spying for the hell of it, but it seemed less plausible when she considered the next option. He seemed to be about to ask her something, she pondered. He almost looked like he was… _blushing_. Raven's eyes widened. Beast Boy? The thought of her green-skinned teammate having romantic feelings for her caught her surprise.

It would be logical, especially because of Beast Boy's recent behavior. Spying on her, not starting arguments as much, and sitting next to her whenever possible. She blinked. This would make plenty of sense. It seemed a bit conceited to think such a thought, but it seemed to fit. What if it were true? Eventually, he'd ask her out. What would she say? Certainly not yes! She didn't see him that way. Sure, she cared for him very much, possibly more than she let on, but never enough to _date_ him. Date Beast Boy? Never! She laughed inwardly at the idea. This, of course, had to be only in her mind. Beast Boy didn't _really_ like her that way … did he? The thought bothered her a bit. Eventually, she pushed the idea out of her mind … or at least as far away as she could get from it. Raven drew in her knees and looked at the book. Before she finished reading the first page, a knock arrested her focus. This caused her to freeze in place. A part of her was worried that it might be Beast Boy returning to ask his question. Slowly, she swallowed and asked, "Who is it?" possibly a little harsher than she had intended.

"It is your friend Starfire. May I enter?"

The anxious bubble in her stomach dissipated. "Err … sure." She replied, sounding a little too relieved. Raven opened the door using her telepathy and Starfire stood in her doorway, her hair much neater than earlier.

"Greetings. Do you wish to today journey to the mall shopping?"

Raven rolled her eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you that _I don't like shopping_?"

The smile on Starfire's face disappeared instantaneously. "Then you do not wish to spend the 'girl time' with me today?"

"It's not that, it's just that I don't enjoy _shopping_."

"Then perhaps we may partake in another one of the popular activities included in the 'girl time'?" She pulled a long white piece of paper out of her pocket. "I have created a list!"

"A … list?"

"Yes! We can …" her eyes scanned the paper. "Play the game of board, do the reading of magazines, the painting of our nails, the coloring of a book, the brushing of our hair, the baking of a cake, the…" Starfire continued.

Raven remained silent for a moment as she tried to take it in. Then, an idea struck her. "Star … why don't we just go for a nice peaceful stroll outside?"

"That can be arranged as well!" Starfire exclaimed, letting the list float to the floor. "I shall prepare myself, and I will find you in the living room!"

Raven smiled subtly at her friend's earnestness and reached for the list. Her eyes ached from looking at the large quantity of things she'd never even _consider_ doing. Gently, she folded the paper, and slid it behind her stack of books in hopes that Starfire would get no further ideas. After putting her book atop that stack, Raven changed into some comfortable clothes and exited her room. Just as Starfire said, she was waiting in the living room. "I'm … ready?" Raven said, looking at her excessively pleased friend.

"Where are you two going?" Robin asked.

"We are going to participate in the time of girls by taking a stroll outside on such a beautiful day!"

"Great," Robin said, smiling. He drew Starfire in for a kiss on the lips, but she turned her head swiftly, letting his lips touch her cheek instead.

"We must be going! In case it rains!"

Robin turned to the window. "But Star, there's not a cloud—"

"Goodbye friends! Come on, Raven!" she said hastily, taking Raven's hand. She rushed out of the room and into the elevator.

"Wow. What was that?" Raven asked.

"What was what?" asked Starfire, in alarm.

"_That_. With Robin."

"I saw nothing out of the ordinary that just happened, did you?"

"Uhm …"

The elevator door opened and they walked in the stretching hall to the door leading outside of the tower. Once they were outside, Starfire took a deep breath of the clean air and she seemed to be much more at ease. "Do not you love it outside?"

"Uh, sure it's great," Raven replied, impetuously. "Starfire, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can!"

The lilac-haired girl paused, thinking a moment on exactly how to phrase it. "Are you… happy with Robin?"

Starfire glanced downwards. "Happy …?"

"Well …I've noticed that you don't seem to … like him _romantically_."

Starfire sighed. "I care very deeply about friend Robin. He means a lot to me … as do you, Beast Boy, and Cyborg. I do not care for Robin more than I care for anybody else. Once, I believed that I did, however, lately, I feel nothing."

"Ah. As I suspected."

The taller girl immediately stopped. "Please do not tell this to him!"

"I won't, Star, calm down. You know you _do_ need to tell him sometime."

"Yes …" she resumed walking again. "I know that I do, but … I do not wish to hurt him. He most definitely likes me as a girl-friend, and I intend not to upset him."

"I understand."

Starfire began to fidget her hands nervously. "How was it that you found out?"

"It's obvious. When he kisses you, you don't kiss back … or when you do, you don't look like you want to," Raven explained.

"Oh …"

They walked wordlessly for a moment, both searching their mind for something to say. Finally, Raven broke the ice. "Starfire … why are you always so … happy?" It seemed like such a deep question and doubtless it was. Raven felt bizarre asking, but she felt guilty for not thinking of anything to talk about.

"I am joyous because …" she sighed. "Just look around you, Raven! Look at the colors, breathe the air, feel the freedom."

"Er … I do that every day and yet I fail to see what makes it all so wonderful."

"Do not misunderstand me, Raven … my planet is just as beautiful as this one is, but we cannot do as we wish. You remember last we visited Tamaran, yes? They were going to force me to marry that … _monster_. You remember, yes?"

"Yeah …"

"This planet, you can do as you wish. You need not a permit to do everyday things. You can love whom you wish. On my planet … we do not have that opportunity."

Raven nodded. "I think I understand." She felt a twinge of jealousy within. To be as carefree as Starfire must be great, she thought. Raven was anything but carefree. In fact, that might be the exact opposite of her. She looked down at her feet and thought for a moment. '_This planet you can do as you wish.'_ Raven felt another twinge. She knew what Starfire wanted to do, and at this moment, _Raven_ was the one preventing her from doing so. "Hey Star," Raven said, grabbing her friend's arm. "Wanna … go to the mall?"

"Glorious! You have changed your mind!" Starfire exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her friend tightly.

"Uhh … Starfire? You're… hurting… me."

"Oh! I am sorry!" exclaimed the taller girl. She released her binding grip. "Let us begin the journey to the mall shopping!"

_tbc._


	2. Chapter II

"**Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter II**

**---/---**

Raven sank to the floor, beside a few bags of clothes. At long last, she was back in her own room. "I can't believe I just did that," she said to no one in particular. It transpired in such a haze: shopping stores, carts, clothes, bags. She must have spent at least two-hundred dollars worth at her favorite store. She didn't buy too much, however what she did buy, happened to be expensive.

She sat up straight and pulled a bag of clothes closer. The pile of everything was a rainbow of dark hues; she felt that she _enjoyed_ buying them. One by one, she pulled everything out. Raven's lips slowly curled into a smile as she remembered Starfire's comment. She said she'd never seen so many colorless clothes with lace and corsets in her life. It was true; the places Raven shopped were out were certainly unique.

The Titans being a super hero team did not excuse them from dressing down. When they weren't on the job, they dressed how they pleased. Especially Starfire, whose clothes ranged from every color in the rainbow and everything in between. A few instances at the mall, Starfire had many emotional outbursts in which she hugged Raven. It could've easily fractured the other girl's ribs. Though, somewhere in her heart she found to understand … even when Starfire put a bunny-eared headband on Raven's head and began gushing on, reminiscing about the time Raven was turned into a rabbit.

Raven did not get a look at the things Starfire had bought. Starfire wouldn't let Raven see. This almost relieved her; now she did not have to strain her eyes looking at the particularly bright colors. Raven pulled out the item in her third bag. It was the only thing in the bag, because it was large. It was, indeed, a dress. Now, Raven is not one to buy dresses. She refuses to _wear_ dresses … except maybe this one. It was very long; nearly touching the ground if she was to wear it and it was black. Not dark, dark black though. It was a dusty black, a dark shade of grey. The dress faded to deep blue at the bottom, which puffed out, due to a petticoat sewn beneath the fabric. She did not principally _intend_ to wear the dress. She bought it because she wanted it. And if the occasion ever called for it… well, she would be prepared.

As she was folded the dress to go back into the bag, she heard a shriek in the living room. It was a girlish shriek, but not Starfire's. This meant it had to be Beast Boy. Raven sighed and put the dress down. She went into the living room to see what all the noise was about. "What happ--oh my." The first thing she saw was Beast Boy, in his mouse-form, hiding behind the couch. Then, she saw what terrified him: Blackfire stood before him. She looked closely. It took Raven a moment to realize that Blackfire did not have orange eyebrows. "S-starfire?"

The girl turned around and faced Raven. "Friend Raven!" she exclaimed with glee. "I mean … hello," she corrected, bowing her head and bringing it upwards again with a straight face. The girl standing before Raven looked different. Her emerald green eyes were outlined with kohl eyeliner. Her eyelids were covered with dark plum eye-shadow. Starfire was no longer wearing her purple skirt, but instead, black jeans. Her shirt was one that closely mimicked a corset. The most surprising change was …

"Your hair …"

"Why yes! I happened to have picked up some black dye at the mall earlier!"

Raven blinked. "Starfire, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure! Oh, I mean… yes, Raven."

Raven took Starfire's arm and pulled her around the corner. "Why—why did you do this?"

"Do you not like it?"

"No—I mean—argh, it's definitely not … _you_."

"That is good!"

"… why?"

"I am not trying to be me. I am attempting to be like you!"

"What?" Raven stared at Starfire, baffled. "Okay, first of—alright first of all, you can't be me."

"Why not?" Starfire asked with a frown.

"Well because there's already a me. I'm me. You can't be me, you're Starfire."

"Perhaps I could be your _twin_!"

"You can't be. I have no twin. You must be related to somebody in order to be their twin."

"I can be your non-related twin?"

"No. Starfire …" Raven sighed. "Come into my room." She led her tall friend into her room and closed the door. Raven sat down on her bed. "Why _in the name of Azar_ do you want to be me?"

Starfire put her hands behind her back and took a deep breath. "I wish to be you because then, you and I can understand each other a little more. Perhaps like we did when the evil puppet man switched our bodies and then maybe we can be better friends. But… I did not wish to upset you, friend Raven, I only wished to be like you," the Tamaranian princess explicated. By the end of her explanation, her voice began to break, and tears formed in her eyes.

"Starfire, you didn't upset me. You just surprised me. I am so used to seeing you in all your … bright, alarming colors and then I see you looking… gothic. The gesture is flattering, but… you _don't_ want to be me. Even if you were me … you wouldn't like it." Raven moved her foot under her and looked at her friend.

The other girl took a seat next to Raven and crossed her legs Indian-style. "Why would I not like it?"

"You saw what happened … I put all my friend's lives in danger. Why? Because of my father. I still have trouble keeping my powers under control, though not as strictly as before. Do you understand?"

Starfire nodded. "I am sorry Raven. But… can you still teach me to be like you?"

Raven sighed and chuckled gently. "Sure, Starfire. Whatever you want."

"Glorious!"

"First, you have to stop with the 'glorious'. It's … not me ..."

- - -

"She did _what_ now?"

"Do me a favor, Robin: Don't blame her. She didn't know any better. I had a talk with her about everything, and she just wants to be …like me. Why, I have _no_ idea. I tried to tell her that she wouldn't like it, but it did no good."

"And did you talk her out of it?"

"I tried to… but she's _really_ ambitious. I gave in, but it was only for her own good. She's going to miss being her happy-go-lucky self in no time, trust me."

Robin looked weak. "I see." He crossed his arms. "Where is she?"

"She's in her room now … I'm going to try to help her get the dye out of her hair later."

"_She dyed her hair?-!_"

"Sorta… You'll see." Raven led Robin to Starfire's door. "Star, come out now."

The door opened revealing Starfire. She wasn't smiling.

"Starfire?"

"Hello Robin."

"Are you … okay?"

"Yes, I am okay. Why do you ask?" Her voice was completely calm; nearly monotonous.

"Well you're not … you aren't … smiling."

"I know."

"O…kay."

Robin and Starfire stared at each other for a while, until Starfire looked like she was about to explode. She covered her mouth and was sent bursting into a bubbly laugh. Raven and Robin exchanged confused glances. Then, finally, Raven folded her arms. She smirked. "I knew she wouldn't last."

"Oh friend Raven, I do not see how you keep a straight face for very long! I suppose you were correct … it is difficult for me to try and be like you!"

Raven smirked at Robin. "Come on then, Star. We'd better wash that dye out of your hair before it becomes too hard to get out." She took Starfire's arm and led her to the bathroom. "It's probably not going to all come out."

"Are you sure, friend Raven? After all, I would not mind keeping this in my hair for a little longer."

"Dye's bad for your hair Star," Raven said automatically.

"Perhaps you are right."

In the bathroom, Raven turned on the water and adjusted it to a comfortable temperature. She ran her pale hand under the running water. "If you don't wanna get your shirt wet, then it's best to take it off." Raven turned around to see Starfire, and her shirt was off. The only clothing on the upper half of her body was a light pink bra. The bra accentuated her curves. Raven felt her cheeks become hot with a blush. It really occurred to her that Starfire was _beautiful_. She'd always known so or at least that's what she believed. This time, she really noticed. "Erm … yeah … here." Raven turned back around and laid a towel on the ledge of the tub. "Kneel."

Starfire did as her friend directed. Raven knelt next to Starfire and helped her get her head under the running water. Brownish-colored liquid flowed down the tub and into the tub. "Is it working?"

"The dye _seems_ to be coming out … at least some of it. Your hair is still black." She continued trying her best to get the dye out, but wasn't succeeding. Raven sighed and turned off the water. "Sorry, Star. Just … try not to be me anymore, okay? I think the rest of the team has enough Raven," she said.

"Agreed!" Starfire said, wringing her hair. She stood up. Her hair was a _complete mess,_ and she squeezed Raven.

"Starfire … I can't … breathe …" murmured Raven, that red-hot feeling entering her cheeks again.

"Sorry!"

"Here … just take the towel," Raven said quickly, handing Starfire a towel for her hair. "It'll come out in a few weeks. Don't worry."

"Thank you for your help, Raven."

"Uh ... yeah, sure."

Starfire put her shirt back on and the two girls walked back into the living room to announce that Starfire's semi-permanent hair color was a bit more permanent than intended.

_tbc._


	3. Chapter III

"**Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter III**

**---/---**

About two weeks later, Starfire's hair was no longer black. The color rinsed out much more abruptly than the girls anticipated, but it was a great thing. Raven was quite relieved to see her teammate with her natural color again. Starfire snapped out of her phase, and continued wearing her colorful hues.

"_I am … me again," Starfire had said to Raven, once her hair was completely ginger again and she had grown out of her Raven-phase. "But I still wish that we could understand each other …"_

_"It's alright, Star. Believe it or not, I understand you a lot more than I did when we first met … and though it may not all happen at once, little by little, I think we're learning more and more about each other."_

_Starfire had smiled brightly. "I am glad you think so, friend Raven!" She lunged herself at her darker friend, before stopping short. "I am sorry … I forgot that you do not like the hug."_

_Raven chuckled softly. "It's fine … just this once," she said, allowing Starfire to attack her with yet another one of her trademark bone-crushing hugs._

And as of currently, Raven sat on the couch, deeply involved in a thrilling horror novel. At the same time, she was doing her best to ignore Beast Boy's bothersome voice in the background.

"Friend Raven!" a high-pitched voice exclaimed. Raven could only guess whom.

"Starfire, I'm kind of busy—"

"Friend Raven, do you wish to assist me in the shopping for the food?" she asked quickly.

"Star, I really can't—"

The Tamaranian girl looked at Raven with pleading eyes. "But friend Raven…" she quickly lowered her voice. "Friend Robin has offered to assist me, but I'm already going with you … correct?" She smiled apprehensively.

Raven felt sympathy for the girl. If there were a guy that continued to try and make moves on _her_ she certainly wouldn't want to be alone with him _anywhere_. Raven smiled softly. "Yeah. Come on, we'd better go, before it gets busy …" Raven put down her book and stood.

"Thank you," Starfire whispered, gratefully.

Robin entered the room. "You sure you don't need any of my help?" He asked once more. He put his hand on Starfire's lower back.

"I assure you that Raven and I have it under our control, friend Robin, please do not worry about us!" Starfire grabbed the list off of the table and flew to the front door. "We will be back shortly! Good-bye!"

"Starfire," Raven said, delicately. "When _are_ you planning on telling him? It's been a while now… and he's not taking any hints. You're better off just telling him how you feel … or rather, how you _don't_ feel."

"I am sorry," she said quietly. "It would not be easy for me to do such a thing…"

"Look, if you can't tell him, then I think somebody should," Raven explained in her usual monotone. "Do you want me to talk to him for you?"

"W-would you … could you do that?" she asked. Her voice was small, and timid.

"Sure … anything to make him back off. I really think he has no idea how you feel. He really cares about you, Starfire, and he doesn't want to force you into anything."

She nodded. "But please … try not to upset him … he is my friend, and I do not wish to hurt him."

"Don't worry; I'll have it all taken care of by tonight."

"OH, THANK YOU!" she gushed, hugging Raven tightly. "I am sorry, I simply could not resist!" she added, with a goofy smile.

"Heh … right …"

And the two girls continued on their way to the food store.

- - -

"Robin, can I talk to you for a few minutes? Alone?"

"Uh, sure Rae," he said, walking into his room and closing the door. "What's up?" He took a seat on his bed and offered Raven a seat next to him.

"Look, Robin … Starfire loves you. She really does. She doesn't wanna do anything to ruin your friendship … but the truth is … she doesn't feel the same way about you."

"What?" he asked, surprised.

"You mean, you haven't noticed? When you go to kiss her, and she tries to pull away? When she tries not to talk to you alone? You haven't noticed at all?"

"Well … to tell you the truth … no, not really."

Raven scowled inwardly. How he couldn't see, was beyond her. If anyone had given enough hints, it was Starfire. She sighed. "Look, just keep in mind that she doesn't like you that way. She didn't want to tell you herself, she was afraid you'd be angry. She doesn't wanna lose her friendship with you."

"Yeah … I understand, … I guess … I don't want to make her do anything she doesn't want to. I really care about her, y'know?" he said, in a disappointed tone.

"Of course," offered Raven, empathetically.

"Raven?"

"What?"

Robin put his hand on her thigh and rubbed it gently. "Thank you," he said. "I never really realized how much I have in common with you. And how much you've been there for me."

The lilac-haired girl stared at his hand, touching her thigh. "Um, thanks?" she said, unsure of how to respond. She didn't take her eyes off of his hand.

"And also…" he continued, leaning in closer to her. "I never really stopped and took notice to how beautiful you are."

Raven grimaced and peeled his hand off of her thigh. "Cut it out, Robin. Is this some kind of joke? Your girlfriend just _dumped_ you, and you aren't the least bit upset?"

The team leader leaned his upper body forward, as if to lean in for a kiss. "You know, I've never really gone for the shy type… but you're _really_ cute." His lips were hardly a fist's length away from Raven's when she gave him a shove.

"What—what are you trying to do?-!" Raven narrowed her eyes. "You need to learn to take a hint, Robin. Neither Starfire nor I see you that way! I can't believe you just … ugh! What's happening to you, Robin?-!" Raven stood from his bed and stormed out of his room. She made a beeline for her own room and slammed her door shut. "That idiot!" she shouted, enraged. She couldn't believe it. She could not believe that the Boy Wonder, the one who just got rejected by his current girlfriend, had the _nerve_ to think even of trying to kiss her. Who did he think he was?-! Did he expect her to fall head over heels in love with him?-!

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.

"Go away," she said coldly, immediately assuming it was Robin.

"F-friend Raven?" came the voice, timid and small.

"Oh, it's just you, Star. Come in." She used her telepathy to open the door for Starfire.

"Did all go well?"

"No, it didn't."

"Oh." Starfire walked over to Raven, and took a seat next to her, against the wall. "Did something go wrong?"

"I told him how you felt; he was completely clueless that you felt that way. He told me that he understand completely."

"That is glorious! But … how did it not go well?"

Raven closed her eyes. "After he told me that … he … he put his hand on my thigh – and nearly kissed me."

"What?-!" Starfire nearly shouted. Immediately she stood. "The nerve of him! Does he think you feel the same? You certainly do not! How dare he?-! I do not know much about boys on earth, but is it normal for them to go so quickly between one girl and another?-! Is it even allowed to kiss somebody that is not your 'girlfriend'?-!" she spit all this out quickly, while pacing back and forth in front of Raven and using her flailing arms for expression. Suddenly, she paused and looked at Raven. Speaking with fear and alarm, she asked, "A-are you his … girlfriend?"

Raven blinked. "Absolutely not!"

This was Starfire's cue to continue. "This is an outrage! He is our friend, and is it not right for one friend to disrespect another friend's feelings about whether or not they—even feel the same! It is impolite, discourteous, and on my planet, one would be exiled! Perhaps beheaded! This is an uncivil act that will not go unnoticed. I am appalled! Absolutely—"

Starfire continued with her colorful speech. Raven sat back and watched wide-eyed as the Tamaranian girl expressed weeks, maybe months of pent-up anger. Raven considered stopping the girl, but instead came to the conclusion that the venting was healthy and necessary for her friend to go through.

As Raven endured the Wrath of Starfire, her mind began to travel. She'd never seen Starfire act this resentful and offended before, even when things far worse had occurred. Doubtless, one's fury is justified by actions like Robin's, but perhaps if _he_ was the one who had broken up with _her_. It was her idea, and what could she care that Robin was hitting on another girl? True, Starfire had shown signs of striving to strengthen the bond between herself and her violet-eyed teammate, but enough to react with such intensity to a failed-first-kiss?

Unless, Raven mused, the misdirected annoyance was not because of that but actually the other way around. What if Starfire was jealous that Raven _liked_ the attention? That seemed unlikely, because the only explanation for that was Starfire being jealous of… Robin. That would mean Starfire had an interest in Raven romantically. Raven zoned out of her thoughts and back into Starfire's rant—which had now switched from English to Tamaranian. Raven felt something warm, like a feeling in her stomach. Her mind shuddered. First Beast Boy, then Starfire… her thoughts owed it all to an underlying conceit issue. Before long, she'd believe Cyborg was hitting on her, she assumed. Starfire would _never_ feel romantically for her, she thought. Raven scoffed. It was a stupid idea in the first place.

_tbc._


	4. Chapter IV

**"Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter IV**

**---/---**

The tower was quiescent and almost completely silent. After a while, Beast Boy and Cyborg caught onto the tension, and stayed out of everyone's way. They were clueless as to what was going on, and knew only to stay out of Raven's way. She wouldn't_ look_ at Robin, and Robin tried not to look at her either. Starfire, as much as she tried to hold everyone together, still didn't want to get too close to Robin. It was difficult. Though none of them wanted to speak too soon, somehow the titans felt as if their friendship was drifting apart.

"Does anyone else notice that it's quiet?" Beast Boy asked, _always_ being the first to break _any_ kind of silence.

"Yes, we do," Raven answered, irritated.

"Chill out, it was just a question," Beast Boy said, continuing to eat. Now, their seating arrangements were as followed: Starfire sat next to Raven, and Robin and Beast Boy sat on the other end, with Cyborg sitting at the kitchen counter, eating some sausages.

"Perhaps we should all go to an outing today, friends," Starfire suggested in a hesitant but cheerful tone. She looked at Raven in particular.

"I'll pass," Robin said, immediately. If he ever devoted himself to his work before, this was when he did so most.

"Maybe later, Star," Cyborg said.

"I'm … busy," was Beast Boy's excuse. He just wanted to finish beating a level in his video game.

"Uh … sure," Raven said at last. As soon as Raven answered everybody gaped at her. Of all people to take Starfire up on her offer … _Raven?_

"Glorious!" Starfire exclaimed. She had gotten somewhat used to Raven being a little more … open to her. Raven didn't mind it. In fact, she quite liked it. Finally, Starfire felt like she was able to become close to her friend.

"Raven … you feeling alright?" Robin asked.

Raven glared at him, ready to say something sarcastic, but at the last minute decided against it. Though Robin _had_ been a jerk lately … he was still her friend. "I feel fine," she stated calmly. "Why do you ask?"

"It's just that you seem … perkier than usual … in the least bit."

"I see." She picked up her cup of tea and took another sip, gazing into her liquid reflection. "It's nothing."

"Where exactly do you suggest that we go, friend Raven?"

"Doesn't matter to me," she answered in monotone. As soon as she said that, she regretted it. She had just put herself entirely at the mercy of her jovial teammate.

"Then I have the perfect idea!"

Raven slumped back in her seat and sighed. "All right. Let me finish my tea first," she said, ignoring the astounded expressions on the others' faces.

Starfire grinned blissfully and continued eating her meal. She had the perfect place in mind. She knew a lot of girls that went to this kind of thing, and it would mean so much if Raven would share that experience with her.

- - -

"Now where is it that you want to take me?" Raven asked her jubilant friend.

"It is a surprise!"

"Oh no … is it a beauty parlor?"

"Not at all!"

"Does it have anything to do with manicures?"

"No! We will be late if we wait any longer than this, though!"

Raven sighed. She knew it would sound extremely rude and probably upset Starfire a great deal if she backed out now, so she didn't have much of a choice. "Can you at least tell me where it _is?_"

"Just follow me," she answered, flying ahead of Raven, allowing the pale one to follow. It wasn't incredibly far, but far enough.

"A …spa?" Raven asked, clearly surprised.

Starfire nodded. "Now friend Raven, I understand if this is not your type of 'thing' but it really is relaxing and calming and it won't take very long! We can even leave early if you do not wish to stay!"

A spa. This was definitely something unexpected. She wasn't too fond about these kinds of things, but a little while in a sauna might calm her nerves a little. Ever since the Robin situation, she'd been tense. Tenser than usual; and that's saying something. "All right," she answered, trying not to sound too reluctant.

"Eh!-?" Starfire was obviously not expecting that response. Truthfully, she was expecting Raven to decline. "This is glorious!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her friend. "I promise, this will be fun!"

Raven smiled slightly. It made her happy to see Starfire so … chipper. Especially after lately; everybody, even always-joyful Starfire seemed to have a raincloud above her. Everyone had sort of distanced from one another, except those two. She followed her friend inside of the store, as a smiling asian woman who looked to be in her late fifties greeted them. They were directed first to a small tub of bubbling warm water. Luckily, there wasn't much of a wait as there would normally be…the spa was pretty empty today. "Excuse me," Raven said to the woman, who was checking the temperature of the tub.

"Yes, can I help you?"

"My friend and I—well, this is our first trip to somewhere like … this," Raven explained, looking around. "Is there any kinds of guidelines we should know?"

The woman smiled. "Nothing that's too important! Just remember, no smoking."

Raven nodded, but then it occurred to her that she had come to known that some girls go into such tubs nude. It only seemed fair to ask. "Erm—do we have to go into the tubs … _nude?_"

"It is never required that you go unclothed in front of anybody," she explained. "You can purchase a bathing suit at the front desk, if you wish," she answered simply. "Also, you can get dressed and undressed over there."

"Thanks," Raven said quietly, following Starfire to get changed. "Star … do you plan on going in there without any clothes?"

"Would there be any reason not to?" the Tamaranian girl asked.

"Heh …" Raven chuckled nervously. "I suppose there isn't …"

"Well there are no males in this part of the spa, correct? So there is no reason to conceal ourselves." The two girls stepped into separate stalls unlocked by an attendant. In each stall was a clean white robe that they wrapped around themselves.

Raven felt a chill go up her spine when her bare feet hit the cold tiled floor beneath them. She didn't feel comfortable at all about going nude in public like this … but somehow, Starfire made her feel more comfortable. '_There is no reason to conceal ourselves.'_

Returning to the empty tub, Starfire was the first to drop her robe. She set it neatly on a chair nearby. Upon Raven catching sight of Starfire's body and her voluptuous curves, she quickly turned away and felt her cheeks growing warm. "Is something the matter, Raven?" Starfire asked.

Raven's violet gaze soon locked with Starfire's and she smiled. "No, everything's okay." Still, Raven was quite self-conscious about her pale, delicate body. This would be the first time somebody other than her own family had ever seen her completely unclothed. Slowly, she untied the robe, and turned around as she took it off. She set it a chair away from Starfire's and then turned around to see Starfire already in the tub. Raven had no reason to be so … shy. She and Starfire were both girls. They had nothing to hide, nothing unusual. But why did Raven blush so much? Slowly, she dipped the tip of her foot into the hot water. It felt soothing. She carefully took a seat into the bubbling tub and looked at Starfire. "This isn't that bad. It isn't that bad at all," she told her, monotonously, but with the slightest hint of happiness in her voice.

"See? I knew that you would enjoy this, Raven, because though you may not enjoy partaking in the slightly girl-ish doings that I enjoy, I knew you could use a day away from the others for a day of nice, calm tranquility!"

It seemed so _unusual,_ seeing Starfire out of her usual purple top and skirt. But there she was, Starfire, sitting across from her with a wide smile, the tips of her orange-tinted hair dipping elegantly into the warm water. "Thanks Star," Raven said at last. "It's just what I needed."

After they spent a generous amount of time in the hot tub, they were told that the sauna was ready for them. "And what exactly is this 'sauna' you speak of?" Starfire asked.

"It's a room filled with steam that's used for relaxation, and it's good for your skin!" the attendant replied.

"Glorious!" Starfire stepped out of the tub once the attendant left and headed for her robe. Raven stayed in, and watched Starfire. Her eyes couldn't be pulled from her figure. Starfire picked up the robe and wrapped it around herself, wringing out the ends on her hair, which were damp. "Are you coming, Raven?"

"Yeah," she replied torpidly, stepping out of the water, feeling the water drip off of her body and onto the floor. She quickly put on her robe, still feeling slightly awkward about the whole thing. When they got into the sauna, a few other girls were there, but they were too wrapped up in their own conversation to notice Starfire and Raven. It also caught their attention that the girls were wearing white towels, not robes, and a few of them had nothing on at all. Raven wasn't quite ready to stay nude again, or probably not for a long time, so quickly, she took off her robe, and grabbed a towel that was folded neatly and hung over a bar. Starfire then did the same.

"It does get quite steamy in here," she said, squinting to see.

"Supposedly, it's good for your breathing too … I don't know, I just heard it somewhere," Raven said.

Starfire nodded. "Are you still enjoying this?"

"Yeah, it's not too bad. But after this, can we go home? I'm actually getting a bit tired."

"Of course! As long as I know that you have enjoyed yourself, I am satisfied!"

Perhaps Starfire's idea for the day wasn't as terrible as Raven expected. However, that awkwardness lingered in Raven's mind. It was the first time she had ever seen Starfire completely nude. Something told her, however, that it wasn't the last.

_tbc._


	5. Chapter V

**"Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter V  
**

**---/---**

Raven sprung upward from a deeply focused sleep. "It was just a dream," she said aloud, as if to confirm it. Moments ago, visions of herself and the supple, soft skin of a certain ginger-haired titan - who happened to have forgotten _all _of her clothes - filled her head. This wasn't the first of these dreams. She blamed it on the spa. Ever since spending a day with a such a beautiful girl, a majority of the day spent nude, Raven had been visited nightly by the obscure yet enticing dreams. The strangest part was that Raven didn't dislike it at all. She didn't feel disgusted at herself, and she didn't feel uncomfortable either. If anything, she felt at ease and… _excited_?

She sat up in bed contemplating her subconscious' interesting way of delivering such a message. Starfire definitely wasn't the first focus of these particular 'dreams' as reluctant as she was to admit it even to herself. Usually upon waking she would be overcome by feelings of disgust and embarrassment. Both of these were absent now. In fact, she was completely unsure of how to deal with what she felt. It seemed dangerous to even think about. Though as much as Raven tried to push it out of her mind, the same thought lingered.

An unusual thought occurred to her - Raven spent so much time being unhappy and pushing away the people she loved because no good ever came from it. In the past, a simple thought would have set something nearby ablaze. This time, it seemed different. This time, she decided, it wouldn't hurt to take advantage, even if just a little bit. She lazily drifted out of bed and changed out of her nightclothes. After a trip to the bathroom to brush her teeth and comb a few stray hairs, she headed down the hall to visit a friend.

The door was already open a small crack, but she knocked anyway. "Star?"

Starfire opened her door. "Friend Raven! Come in!" Starfire enthusiastically grabbed Raven's arm and pulled her inside. "How are you today?"

"I'm ... fine," she replied hesitantly. An unexpected feeling of anxiety took over and she bit her lip. "Look, I was wondering if you had plans today."

Starfire looked overjoyed. "No, I do not!" She folded her hands and leaned toward Raven affectionately.

"Well, I was just wondering if--if you wanted to go to the movies later," Raven said with attempted nonchalance. "There's a really good horror flick playing and--"

"Raven, that would be glorious!" Starfire exclaimed, hugging her tightly. "I feel honored that you would ask me! What time do you wish to go?"

A small smile appeared on the darker girl's face. "How's around ten?"

Starfire let go of the smaller girl. "Ten o' clock eastern-standard time it is!" Starfire declared, bouncing up and down.

Raven felt good. She knew very well that she could have asked anybody else in the tower to go. She could have even invited Cyborg to join, or Beast Boy. Starfire didn't even like horror films to begin with. The thought of spending an afternoon with the Tamaranian girl seemed a whole lot more pleasant than moping around the tower.

"Thank you so much for asking me, Raven!" Starfire gushed as she hurried out of the tower after Raven.

"It's no big deal, Star," Raven lied. It may not have been a _big_ deal, but it was big enough to her.

"Raven, I have a question." Starfire said, stopping in her tracks.

Raven turned to her. "Yeah?"

"How come—why did you ask _me_ to come with you? You could have asked friend Cyborg, or friend Robin, or friend Beast Boy, or friend—"

"I asked you to come because I wanted you to." She answered, thankful that it was dark out, because she could have sworn she was blushing.

"But _why_ did you want me to?" Starfire asked. Her green eyes could be seen perfectly, piercing though the darkness.

Raven was finally quiet. "Because I like spending time with you," she finally answered. "I guess the quality time we've been spending together lately has gotten to me. You aren't half-bad to hang around," Raven lied. It was a privelege, she wanted to say.

Starfire smiled. "I enjoy spending time with you as well, friend Raven," she said softly, taking a step closer to Raven. She reached out her hand and brushed a strand of violet hair from Raven's face and tucked it behind her ear. Just as Raven thought that something was about to happen, Starfire put her hand at her side, and took Raven's in hers. "Now let us see this horror-movie, yes?"

"Y-yeah. Let's go before it starts."

As they continued walking to the theatre, thoughts consumed Raven's mind. She remembered how whenever she would show an emotion of happiness or even affection, something around her would always fall, break, crash, or explode. It was that way with Malchior and that way with the brief, embarrassing, infatuation that she had over Beast Boy (that was a secret). Yet this time, which would seem like all of the others, nothing happened. Nothing broke, nothing shattered, and nothing exploded. Raven still did not have full control of her emotions, and she needed to meditate like always, but there wasn't anything of the sort when she had those thoughts, or was around Starfire. Maybe this meant something. Or maybe she was just overanalyzing it, like she always did.

Once they arrived at the movie theatre, Raven bought buttered popcorn for the two of them, and some mustard—just for Starfire. As she handed the yellow bottle to Starfire, the Tamaranian girl smiled at her, and Raven felt a burning inside of her stomach. Still not completely sure about her emotions' effects, she brushed the feeling aside, not wanting to put Starfire in jeopardy.

The two of them sat inside of the movie theatre and the film shortly began. It opened with dripping crimson liquid and bats flying everywhere. Raven grinned and ate a handful of popcorn. It was just the kind of movie she liked. Halfway through it, however, Starfire was clinging to her arm and burying her face in Raven's cloak. Raven had an urge, and didn't feel like denying it again. She took her other arm and gently stroked Starfire's long, orange hair. The dark of the theater filled Raven with an unusual confidence. But that didn't stop the burning feeling from transpiring in her stomach again. Starfire lifted her head to look at Raven. Raven nodded. "The scary part's almost over," she whispered.

When the movie ended, Starfire was shaken up. "I did not know that a head of a human could be detached like that," she said.

"Oh it can," Raven answered with a small grin. "But don't worry. It was just a movie. None of that stuff is true, anyway." She felt vaguely guilty for making Starfire sit through that. The more she thought of it, the more selfish she realized it was. Instead of picking out a movie that Starfire wanted to see, she went to see the one that _she_ wanted to see.

"However, I did enjoy the movie. The horrid dripping effects of blood and silhouettes of axe-murders were really quite enjoyable!"

The other girl could tell that Starfire was lying. "No it wasn't," she said simply. "Not for you, anyway."

Starfire frowned. "At least you were there with me," she confided honestly. "Hiding in your cloak was comfortable."

Raven smirked. "Was it, now?"

By the time they arrived home, the lights were out in the tower. "I shall go to sleep now, friend Raven. Thank you again for the wondrous evening!" Starfire exclaimed, using a starbolt to light her way through the tower.

"'Night Star," Raven replied. Her eyes had already adjusted to the dark.

A couple of hours later, Raven's sleep was disturbed by a muffled knocking noise. She lifted her head from her pillow groggily and used her telekinesis to open it. Starfire was at the door, holding a pillow.

"Friend Raven, sorry to bother you," she began, in a whisper, "but I am being kept awake from the haunting of bad dreams, and I think it will be more comfortable if I joined you in your slumber if you would not mind."

Raven stretched and yawned. "Sure Star," she answered tiredly.

Starfire smiled weakly and walked up to Raven's bed. "Thank you very much," she said. Raven slid over, making plenty of room on the bed for Starfire. She set her pillow down and crawled into bed. "I hope to make this all up to you tomorrow."

Little did she know, she was actually doing Raven a favor. "Whatever you say," Raven answered. She closed her eyes and listened to the patterns of Starfire's breathing. At first they were fast-paced, but gradually slow and steady. She was asleep. Raven, now wide-awake, sat up in bed and peered over Starfire to see her peaceful expression. She smiled a bit and lightly kissed the side of Starfire's head, allowing her lips to brush against the Tamaranian's hair. "Good night, Starfire. Sweet dreams." She couldn't remember the last time she hadn't slept alone. Raven set her head against her pillow and allowed herself to fall asleep to the foreign rhythm of Starfire's breath.

_tbc._


	6. Chapter VI

**"Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter VI**

**---/---**

The following morning Raven slept a great deal longer than usual. Every morning for countless days before, she had woken up at or around five in the morning. Today, for the first time in what seemed like forever, rays of sunshine penetrated the opaque curtain and danced on her skin, waking her up. Sound asleep beside her, was her own _ray of sunshine_, so to speak. Careful not to wake the other girl, Raven resumed a more comfortable position on the bed where she could watch Starfire softly sleeping. The young Tamaranian looked so serene. Raven wondered what she was dreaming about. She faintly smiled at her friend and let herself drift into a drowsy state of almost-sleep, until her bed-mate turned over, now facing Raven completely. Starfire's eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning, Raven," she said slowly as she stretched and yawned.

"'Morning, Star," Raven replied with a smile. As she looked at Starfire she felt another warm sensation shoot through her body. Still, nothing around her exploded or fell. Perhaps she needed to consult her emotions, to assure that this wasn't a sort of cruel trick.

"I am sorry for the trouble I caused you last night," Starfire said. "I give you thanks, for allowing me to-"

"Don't worry about it," Raven interrupted, stepping out of bed. "It's fine." Raven did as best she could to hide her face from Starfire out of shame for her bedhead hairdo and tired eyes. Her attempts were futile.

Much to the pale girl's surprise, Starfire moved closer to Raven, catching eye contact immediately. "Really. I thank you."

A blush crept across Raven's face. She opened her mouth to speak. "Starfire-"

Suddenly, the door to Raven's bedroom slid open, carelessly. "RISE AND SHIIIIINE!" a familiar and annoying voice, sang.

"Beast Boy," Raven growled, her eyes turning red.

The cheerful expression on the green boy's face fell. "Uh-oh." He dropped the pan of tofu he was holding and ran for his life. Angrily, Raven chased him, hungry for revenge. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Beast Boy shouted.

"Starfire?" Robin appeared at the door.

"G-good morning, friend Robin," Starfire greeted, as cheerfully as she could manage. Her cheeks were flushed from the close contact with her lilac-haired friend.

"Why did you sleep in here tonight?" he asked.

"Oh! Raven and I went to see a movie last night and it included plentiful amounts of blood and decapitation, and I was afraid to sleep alone."

"Oh, I see... well, listen, I just wanted to apologize for-"

Starfire cut him off. "It is alright. We are still friends, yes?"

Robin nodded. "Of course. I was way out of line. I feel terrible."

An acute zapping noise came from the living room and vibrated throughout the tower. "No! Not my GameGuy!"

Starfire smiled. "Perhaps we should check on Raven and Beast Boy. They don't seem to be interacting well this morning."

The two of them walked out of Raven's room and out into the living room. Beast Boy was in chinchilla-form, hiding beneath the kitchen table. A black, nearly melted handheld game system lay in the center of the living room with smoke rising from it. Raven stood casually in front of the open refrigerator, grabbing an apple from inside.

"BB just got his green ass kicked by a girl," Cyborg sang.

"Yeah, I'd like to see how long _you'd_ hold up against Raven," Beast Boy retaliated, now changed into human form. He dusted off his sleeves.

"Maybe you wouldn't have to 'hold up' against me if you would have stayed _out_ of my room." Raven snapped. "Why are some people so ignorant," she muttered sourly. She returned to her room closed the door tightly, making sure to lock it. She then sat against the wall and took a bite from her apple. Slowly, her thoughts drifted away from the Beast Boy incident and back onto what her mind had been on nearly all month—Starfire.

She especially focused on the night before. So many things had happened and so many things had been about to happen. Still, neither of them seemed to muster up the courage to act on it. Raven remembered the way Starfire clung to her cloak desperately to escape the dead bodies being flung across the large, illuminated screen before them. Though Raven's eyes were fixed on the screen, she wasn't focused. No, she was actually enjoying being so close to Starfire. It all brought her back to that dream she had.

It was what she truly wanted, after all. The feeling was foreign to her. She wanted to _belong_ to Starfire, and for Starfire to belong to her, to know that the foreign princess was hers and no one else's. She wanted to take Starfire to carnivals and openly hold hands. She chuckled as she thought about the look on Robin's, or even Beast Boy and Cyborg's faces if they ever saw the two girls lock into a simple kiss.

Raven felt guilty and selfish. Starfire only wants a friend she can be close to, she told herself. That's it. She's had enough of Robin forcing his feelings onto her, she certainly doesn't need any more of that, she supposed. As much as Raven tried to convince herself of that, a voice in her head teased her. It toyed with the idea of Starfire feeling the same. She couldn't get that thought out of her mind and it drove her crazy. It wasn't unknown to her how harmful thoughts like that could be. How would she be able to even tell Starfire without her feeling like she's obliged to feel the same, like with Robin? Are same-sex relationships even something Starfire would be okay with?

Questions wildly ran through her mind. She wanted to act, to do something to end all of this confusion and tension but she didn't want to act too soon. The reason was purely selfish, as much as she wanted to deny it. The feelings she experienced around Starfire, the blind feeling of possible mutuality in the butterflies, the happiness she seldom sought much less experienced, it was all too sweet to give up so soon.

Raven wanted to do something with her again, though. After the night before she felt extremely selfish for making Starfire endure a film that she obviously didn't take any interest in. It was selfish of her; she should have asked what Starfire wanted to see. That didn't occur to her, only because Raven assumed Starfire would choose something animated and fluffy with talking animals - anything seemed better than that.

Suddenly, she got an idea. She carefully reached her hand under her dresser and felt around for a bit, finally landing her hand on the target. She pulled out a piece of paper and examined it. She smirked. The femininely curved handwriting was written in a strawberry-colored ink. Every so often, a heart was drawn next to an item in the list. It was the same one Starfire had brought into her room weeks before in an attempt to spend 'quality time'. Though Raven wouldn't normally do anything on the list on her own, she felt that she owed it to the young, beautiful Tamaranian princess. She held the list and stood, determined to make Starfire smile. Just picturing the taller girl's smile brought a smile of her own to her pale, delicate features. As she stepped out of her room, she spotted Starfire in front of the stove. "Hey Star," Raven said casually.

"Hello Raven!" she exclaimed.

"What're you cooking?"

"Actually, right now I am baking a meal that is originally from Tamaran. It is called Glorvok."

"And what exactly is Glorvok made of?" Raven asked, suppressing a smile. She knew Starfire's meals were anything but anticipated in the tower. Raven was expecting her to mention several intestines of foreign creatures and a stomach or two of a fellow Tamaranian. All of Starfire's Tamaranian feasts included something unappetizing to say the least.

"It is made from the bulb of the Vokoga plant and its' sweet petals," Starfire answered pleasantly. Raven blinked. Starfire held up a small rectangular box with lush brown soil and a few beautiful flowers. They looked similar to small roses, only the bottom of the petals were silver and towards the tip, it faded to a deep crimson color. The stems were light grey.

"Those look beautiful."

"You may try a petal, if you'd like."

A bit hesitant, Raven reached out her hand and touched one of the petals. It felt as silky and frail as an actual rose's petal. She tugged lightly on a petal and it came off. Holding it up to her nose, she smelled it. It smelled beautiful. A combination of sugared cherries along with a foreign, indescribable scent filled her senses. She put it into her mouth and chewed. It practically melted in her mouth. "The best Tamaranian 'food' I've ever tasted," she declared.

"In fact," Starfire began, "Tamaranians believed that when two people who were truly in love both held an end of a Vokoga petal, the petal would turn completely red."

"R-really?" Raven asked, a blush creeping upon her cheeks. Love, she thought. What an interesting concept. Feeling slightly embarrassed, she quickly changed the subject. "So, er ... if you don't wanna, it's okay, but when you're done baking, do you want to go out for milkshakes or something? I know there's this really good place that sells them and we could go if you want."

Starfire tilted her head in confusion. "Milk... shake? What is that?"

Raven's eyes widened. "You mean you've never had a milkshake?"

The ginger-haired girl shook her head. "No ... unless it is milk that has been shaken, in which case--"

"It's not," Raven answered, with a smirk. She just couldn't keep a straight face around this girl. "As soon as you're done baking your, uh, flowers we can go. I promise, you'll love it."

"All right! Thank you Raven." She wrapped her arms tightly around the shorter girl. "Before I use the rest of them for the Glorvok, would you like another Vokoga petal?" Starfire gently tore one from the flower and held it out to Raven.

_"when two people who were truly in love both held an end of a Vokoga petal, the petal would turn completely red..."_

No thanks," Raven said, feeling a blush creep onto her cheeks. "Maybe another time." She gave Starfire a slight smile and returned to her room.

Raven stood before her dresser and looked in the mirror, frustrated at the reflection that peered back. "It's not that I didn't want to know. I was afraid to."

- - -

"Two milkshakes please. One chocolate and one strawberry." The waitress nodded politely and jotted their order down on a pad of paper.

They were in a diner, sitting in a half-circle shaped booth, right beside one another. The diner was designed to look similar to the 1950s era, and Raven liked this. She'd always wanted an excuse to eat there, but she feared telling the others of her unusual fixation to this vintage era. A jukebox on the far end of the diner was playing an unfamiliar song.

"Do they happen to have a mustard flavored milkshake?" Starfire asked, still searching a menu.

"I'm afraid not," Raven answered. "I don't even think mustard flavored milkshakes exist ... mustard wouldn't taste good with milk anyway. You'll like the strawberry one, though. I remember you mentioning you liked strawberries, right?"

Starfire smiled. "You have been so generous to me lately, Raven. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. I'm just glad that we can get out of the tower more often. You know, away from the others for a little bit." Her cheeks burned, and she quickly added, "Especially Beast Boy. I swear, one of these days, he's gonna get it."

"Beast Boy has been acting strange lately, no?" Starfire said. "He is always picking on you it seems, more than usual."

"Don't remind me," responded Raven irritably. "I've had about as much of that kid as I can handle."

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Starfire said, looking down at the table where she was tracing invisible patterns with her index finger, "but is it not customary on this planet for some boys to give girls difficulty when they are interested in courting them?"

This sent Raven into a coughing fit. "_Courting_ me?" Raven spat, at last recovering. "I don't even think Beast Boy _knows_ what that means! Has he even hit puberty yet?" The two girls laughed.

After an elongated silence Starfire shyly inquired, "are you interested in Beast Boy?"

Raven's cheeks flushed at this particular question. The tone of Starfire's voice was unusual when asking. She wasn't sure which was more embarrassing: being put on the spot by the person she _was_ romantically interested in, or the suggestion that she would be interested in _Beast Boy_ of all people.

The waitress returned to their table with the milkshakes. She set down a tray with two milkshakes. "Here you go, ladies. Enjoy!"

"Thanks," Raven quickly responded. She kept her gaze upon Starfire. "First of all, that thought alone is _repulsive_. I can't imagine why you would ask me something so piteously distasteful. Second of all, try the milkshake. I don't have a doubt that you will like it. It's really sweet and sugary, just what you're into."

Starfire smiled and put her lips to the straw, drinking a sip of the strawberry flavored treat. "Oh my Florvath! Raven, this is simply delicious! Why have I not tried one of these yet?"

The other girl smiled. "I told you it was pretty good." She took a sip of her own milkshake. "You can try mine, if you'd like. I got plain chocolate."

"Raven," Starfire began, "Of all of my earth friends, I enjoy spending time with you most," Starfire said softly. "I am not sure what it is about you. Your moods are rarely optimistic and we do not share a liking in bright, peaceful movies - yet I am sure I would rather spend the day with you than with any of our other teammates."

The butterflies in Raven's stomach were acting up again. All hunger for her milkshake vanished in the midst of apprehension. "Starfire, I-"

Raven's response was interrupted by Starfire's rash decision. In the midst of the moment, the two young girls were engaged in an unexpected, passionate, heart-pounding kiss.

_tbc._


	7. Chapter VII

**"Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter VII**

**---/---**

The tall grandfather clock, nearly matching the color of pure coal, chimed exactly two a.m. and Raven was wide-awake. She sat cross-legged on her bed, attempting to meditate, though for some reason she couldn't keep her focus. She shifted uneasily, assumed a cross-legged position on the opposite side of her bed and again attempted to meditate. Nothing worked. She let out a soft sigh and began to pace her room. She had been trying to force the situation to the back of her mind, but there was one thing she couldn't deny: her and Starfire had shared a passionate kiss.

The thought alone stirred unwanted emotions within her body. Her stomach stirred and her legs grew weak. A bubble, it seemed, grew within her chest, and increased the pace of her heartbeat. Electricity was nearly emitting from her fingertips as those thoughts swam through her mind. She didn't want to feel that way. She felt so … vulnerable. Of course she kissed back. The fact that scared her the most was simply this. She was most certain that she enjoyed it. It was a very dangerous emotion for _her_ of all people to be meddling with.

Raven's emotions could _never_ mix with her powers. If by chance they did, it would create a most deadly solution. The negative effects have held back so far—but Raven was as doubtful as ever that it would continue running so smoothly.

She stopped pacing and walked across her room where she picked up a black towel. Sometimes, late at night, when a lot was on her mind or when she simply couldn't fall asleep, she liked to spend her time in the pool. Swimming laps often cleared her mind, and put her at peace. Using her powers, she quietly levitated an inch off of the ground to assure she didn't make any noise on the way there. It was an inside pool, right next door to the training room. The titans used it all year long, though usually as more of a training area than an actual pool. When Raven opened the door to the room, she took in the sweet yet humid smell of the chlorine. She set her towel on the table by the door and removed her cloak, leaving only her black leotard. She slipped off her socks and walked barefoot towards the pool.

An unexpected splash echoed through the room and made Raven's heart jump. She assumed a defensive stance in the case that it was a villain – however, to her relief, it was merely Starfire holding onto the edge of the pool, and smiling at her friend. "Hello Raven," she whispered.

Raven couldn't deny that the sight of it looked beautiful. The entire back wall of the room was a single window, therefore a dim glow emitted from the starlight and moon, reflecting against the pool water. The smooth near-silhouette of Starfire shone softly with an almost angelic radiance. "Starfire … you're up late."

"I could not get to sleep," she replied, still whispering. "I hope you do not mind."

"Of course not," Raven said, walking towards the pool. She felt her stomach twist and churn with that strange feeling again. "I come down here often, when I can't get to sleep." She felt an awkward presence between them, as if they were pretending to act like they never shared that intimate moment.

"The water is warm," she spoke softly, with a gentle smile, running her hand through it invitingly.

Raven sat down on the edge of the pool, leaving her legs to dangle in the warm, soothing pool water. "It feels nice," Raven replied, returning a simple smile. She eased the rest of her body into the pool, shuddering to the sudden change in temperature. One of the first things she noticed was Starfire's current apparel. She was wearing a light green bikini with purple flowers. It was unusual for Raven to see her in such an outfit, and as a result of that, she felt her cheeks growing warm.

"Why do you not wear a suit of bathing?" Starfire asked.

Raven shrugged, maintaining eye contact with the taller girl. "I don't own any," she replied, never looking away. For some reason, Raven never before noticed how different it felt to maintain direct eye contact with someone else. As opposed to looking _at_ Starfire, she felt as if she were looking _into_ her.

Starfire didn't look away. After a short pause, she said, "If you would like, you may borrow a pair that I own. Though they are not black nor dark purple, so you may not enjoy the colors."

"No, it's alright," she replied. She almost found it difficult to speak consciously while sustaining such deep contact with her friend. "Come on, let's swim," she said, at last looking away and diving beneath the water. Starfire followed her. When they reached the opposite side of the pool, Raven came to the surface, her hair dripping wet. Starfire came up afterward; her long orange bangs fell into her eyes. She leaned backwards and dunked her head into the water again, to brush the wet hair out of her face.

The two girls looked at each other, as if they had something important to say. Starfire took a step closer towards Raven, and immediately the other girl knew what was going to happen. Starfire took Raven's hand with her own, entwining their fingers beneath the water and she leaned in. The moment their lips touched, Raven took a step back, breaking the kiss.

"Starfire," she said. "I can't let this happen."

"I am sorry! I do not know what came over me – I simply—"

"No! Don't apologize. It's not that. It isn't that at all."

"Then, what is it?"

Raven glanced to her emerald eyes. Hurt and concern sparkled evident. "I would _never_ forgive myself if I hurt you."

"You are referring to your powers, yes?"

"Yes. My powers and - and me, as well. Who I am. My emotions certainly cannot combine—or come _anywhere_ near my powers, but as well, I'm not capable of something like this. My soul, who I am, I can't. I'd only hurt you." She looked down, into the water at her reflection, and grew sick at the sight of herself. She knew what she spoke was true.

"But Raven," Starfire pleaded, taking Raven's hand with her own two. "I can assist you with them! I know more about you than any of the others …"

"You don't know me, Starfire," she responded, taking her hand from the other's grasp.

"Of course I do."

The water began to gently tremble.

"Nobody knows who I am."

"I know you."

"My powers. You know that I can't control them completely. Lately, they've been working up. They've been weaker in battle. I haven't meditated in days..."

The tremble grew to a firm quaver.

"Perhaps _we_ can help you. Together. Your powers may be too strong to take on yourself, but together we may discover a way to—"

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

A rumble emanated from deep within the ground.

"Why do you doubt this so much? Is it that you don't want it?"

"That's not what it is! You can't understand!"

"Raven, I am in _love_ with--"

Tremble. Quaver. Rumble. _Crash._

The edges of the pool became outlined in a black glowing aura. The water in the pool began to bubble and tremor, as if an earthquake were occurring. The ground around the pool began to crack, and glow with that same black aura. The cracks ran up the wall, glowing brighter, yet darker. The rumble became almost too loud to endure.

"Raven! What is happening?"

"Starfire, you can't stay in here. You have to leave! Get out! Tell the others to leave as well. You can't be here!"

"I am not leaving you alone!" she shouted back, trying to raise her voice above the rumble.

Raven leaned against the side of the pool and closed her eyes tightly, positioning her feet firmly against the bottom of the pool. "You have … to leave …" she yelled, straining to speak.

"What is going on, Raven? Are you doing this? Is this your powers reacting?"

"Can't … move …" Raven's eyes were closed, her arms folded across her chest as she tried to regain control.

Starfire moved towards her, putting her hands on Raven's shoulders. "I am most certain that you are capable of this, Raven. You simply must focus!! Speak the words! Azerath, metrion, zinthos! You must speak them!" As she screamed to her friend, her voice began to break and tears filled her eyes.

"Starfire … I can't …"

The crackling and roaring only grew worse. The room temperature shot up, to what seemed like above 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Starfire closed her eyes as well, and placed her index finger on Raven's third eye chakra. "You must say it with me, Raven! It is the only way."

Raven gathered every last bit of her strength. When she opened her mouth, she spoke in a sheer dull murmur.

So together, they chanted.

"_Azerath … metrion … zinthos!"_

The room grew bright – a lighter luminosity than either had ever witnessed before. All resonance ceased immediately.

And at that very next moment, everything went black.

_tbc._


	8. Chapter VIII

"**Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter VIII**

**---/---**

_Earlier_

The walls of the tower wildly began to quake, causing shelves to fall and possessions to shatter. What woke Cyborg up was his toolbox, falling from atop his dresser and smashing open as it hit the floor. His system activated and he stood, vigilant. He became quite aware of what was occurring around him. Concern and nearly fright washed over him. He flipped open a partition on his arm, and pressed buttons frantically, hoping to find clarification on the matter.

Robin burst into his bedroom, wide-awake. "An earthquake?"

"Doubtful," He replied, never looking away from the monitor on his arm. Robin entered the room and glanced over Cyborg's shoulder at the small grid map. "Nothing's showin' on the radar. We gotta get everyone outta here before the whole tower collapses."

Robin nodded and they both rushed out of the room. Robin hurried to Starfire's room first and opened her door. "Star, we have to get—" He looked around the room only to find an empty bed and no Starfire. "Starfire?" He ran back out of the room to Cyborg, who was standing at Raven's open door.

"Cyborg, Starfire's—"

"Gone," Cyborg finished. "Raven too."

The tower began to quake even more violently, making it difficult to walk without support from a wall.

The two of them ran into Beast Boy's room. "Get up!" they shouted, nearly toppling over from the magnitude of this tremor.

Beast Boy turned over, soundly asleep. "Mmhm... moon pies." he muttered, reaching out for his pillow.

"Beast Boy. Now." Cyborg pressed a button on his arm and water squirted from it, onto his green teammate.

He immediately sat up in bed and wiped his face. "Hey—what's the big idea? Whoaa—" He fell out of his bed and onto the floor—which was now becoming more and more unstable. The tower swayed. "Whaa! Earthquake?"

"We think so. We gotta find Raven and Starfire. They're _gone_," Cyborg explained.

"_Gone?_" Beast Boy stood, holding onto a bar of his headboard for support.

"The tower ain't gonna hold for much longer, so hurry your ass up."

Cyborg opened that same partition on his arm and pressed a few buttons. "Radar says they're still in here."

"Then come on. We're not leaving without them." Robin started down the hall and the other two followed.

A deep rumble coming from what seemed like beneath the floors grew increasingly strident as they progressed.

"It's definitely something within the tower. Not an earthquake at all," Robin said. He quickened his pace, only to come to a sudden halt. The others behind him nearly crashed into him, but it didn't take long before they all saw what he was gaping at. The door to the indoor pool was glowing with a luminous white light, but outlined in a dark black as well.

"Raven," Beast Boy murmured fearfully. "How do we get in?" He frantically asked.

"Stand back," Cyborg ordered. Robin and Beast Boy did as he said. Cyborg held out his arm and blasted down the door with a sonic cannon. The three titans covered their eyes due to the intensely shining light.

"We have to … go in …" Robin said, straining to talk.

"My energy is draining …" Cyborg replied, as he tried to move forward.

"I got this." Beast Boy transformed into a small fly and flew towards the white light.

"Beast Boy wait—" Robin called. It was too late however. He had already flown in.

He couldn't see a thing. Everything, absolutely everything, was enveloped in this white matter. It wasn't an issue to him, however. He was doing this for his teammates. For his friends. He felt drained of energy as well, but the only effect _that_ had on him was that he couldn't morph into larger animals. A fly worked just fine. The air grew thicker and thicker making it harder to fly as fast or as agile. Growing closer in the distance, a large black orb became visible. The white matter acted as a fog to block all else out. He flew closer to the orb, feeling a dark energy grow immeasurably powerful. The orb wasn't a solid black color; in fact, it had swirls of a dusty grey color, almost like smoke. Before an opportunity arose for him to choose an alternative direction, the orb burst.

_"Azerath, metrion, zinthos!" _

Beast Boy recognized that voice. _Those voices_. It was Raven and … Starfire? The supremacy from the orb's burst blew Beast Boy back some distance. The orb seemed to crack almost like an egg, before its walls of defense broke and fell beside exactly what it was defending.

He was shocked at what he saw. Instantaneously, he morphed into human form once again and fell backwards onto a hard surface. All else could not be seen. A murky aura surrounded the two girls, still in the pool. Starfire's index finger was touching the gem on Raven's forehead and Raven's arms were crossed tightly across her chest as she gripped both of her own shoulders. As the orb fell around them, Raven's soul spirit- the black raven- appeared high above their heads. Starfire looked up towards it in amazement and awe. Beast Boy remained speechless.

The raven opened its beak and made the most indescribable sound. A combination of a harmonic note and a true raven's caw discharged from its mouth. The sound caused the tower to stop shaking. All was still. Not a single sound could be heard. It opened its beak again, and its mouth worked almost as a drain. All of the white matter in the air drained into its mouth. Slowly, the raven began to grow larger. Its wings expanded and legs stretched longer. Soon, no white matter was left and the shell of the orb vanished. The soul spirit dove back into Raven.

All was discernible now. The pool water was calm and the sun was only beginning to rise. Stars could still be seen dotting and twisting in a pattern in the night sky. Robin and Cyborg stood at the door, all of their energy regained. They stood, gawking in complete astonishment. All seemed normal again.

Though, as her soul spirit dove back inside of her, Raven remained unconscious. She slipped back into the water, where Starfire placed her hands against Raven's lower back, and put an arm beneath her knees, flying her out of the water. She landed gently on the ground again, holding Raven in her arms. She held a look of sadness and tragedy as she looked to her teammates. She repositioned her arm to Raven's upper back and gave support to her head as well.

"Is she … breathing?" Beast Boy asked, standing.

Starfire nodded sorrowfully. "She is … okay."

Robin and Cyborg walked in and over to Starfire. "What happened here?" Robin asked.

"She lost control."

A blue light shone from Cyborg's finger, and he pointed it at Raven, scanning it over her entire body. The screen on his arm beeped, and numbers came up. "No major damage. She'll pull through, with our help."

"I will … take care of her. The fault of this is mine," Starfire spoke sadly.

"Don't say that, Star. You had no control over the situation," Robin said.

"I did."

"But you—"

Starfire ignored him, and carried Raven away.

"Starfire!"

Beast Boy put his hand on Robin's shoulder. "Let her go. Raven's in good hands. They both need their rest."

"I never thought I'd say this but – BB's right. We'll find out the details tomorrow—" he glanced to the window. The sky was turning a light purple-reddish. "I mean, later today. Raven's unquestionably stable. The scan said she's fine – just a little shaken up, I'd assume."

Robin nodded and left the room. Beast Boy and Cyborg exchanged glances, before following their teammate. They were no doubt worried about Raven, but they knew her quite well. The only one who could save Raven from herself … was _Raven_. Her physical and mental scars were minimal enough to be handled alone, and possibly by the aid of Starfire, who seemed to at least have an idea of what was going on. They trusted her.

Starfire flew into Raven's room and gently set her hurt teammate on her bed. "I do hope friend Cyborg is correct in saying that no major harm has been imposed upon you." She brushed a strand of wet lavender hair away from Raven's face. "The fault of this is mine. I vow to make better what I have disarrayed."

She frowned at the sight of her injured friend. Raven was still exceptionally damp from the pool and Starfire felt terrible at the thought of leaving her friend in such clothes. Starfire walked to Raven's wardrobe, only to find more leotards and cloaks. On the bottom row of the closet, however, a few shirts and pants hung. They was the clothes Raven had bought in the mall only a few months ago. Starfire picked out a pair of black flannel plants with yellow stars on them and a matching top. "Perhaps these are pajamas," she said, softly. She carried the articles of clothes to the bed and set them on the end. "I promise I will not look," she added.

Carefully, she worked on undressing Raven. The leotard was tight, and unlike other leotards, long-sleeved, which added to the difficulty. When Starfire had gotten Raven's arms out of the sleeves. She slowly peeled it down below her breasts. She stole a quick glance, but then looked the opposite direction. When the leotard was around her waist, Starfire took the flannel top from the end of the bed and turned back around. She could not look away. It wasn't as if she had never seen them before – because she had, that day at the spa. However, she did not remember the appeal with which she saw them today. Her cheeks glowed a bright red blush. '_I should not be doing this,_' she thought. She swallowed hard, and tried to direct her mind to other things as she carefully unbuttoned the shirt and sat Raven up, to slide it on around her. She laid her softly against the bed again, and buttoned the shirt, one by one. "I apologize Raven. I looked," she confessed in a whisper. She then continued to take the wet leotard off. She slid it down Raven's legs and laid it over a chair to dry. Her eyesight did linger in a few areas they were not supposed to as she carried out this process. Her cheeks continued to burn as she took the flannel pants and put them on Raven.

Starfire, still in her bikini, put on a dark blue robe that was hanging inside of Raven's closet. She did not want to leave the room for any reason, but also felt it inappropriate to stay in such a suit any longer. She wrapped the fluffy robe around her tightly, and crawled into bed with Raven, where she sat, leaning against the wall.

"You are now in dry clothes, friend Raven. It is to be expected that you cannot hear me, but please understand that I apologize profoundly for what has happened tonight. And though you may never forgive me, and with excellent reason, know how I feel about you, and how I cherish you dearly. I will by no means leave your side until you wake. Good night, Raven." She leaned forward and planted a tender kiss upon Raven's pale lips. "_Good night._"

_tbc._


	9. Chapter IX

"**Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter IX**

**---/---**

By morn, Starfire had at last fallen asleep beside Raven just as she had vowed. It wasn't until early afternoon that she actually woke up. The few moments her eyes adjusted to the light were peaceful. Then, it came into recollection exactly what had happened earlier that day. This made the persimmon-haired beauty sit up suddenly. Her heart pounded beneath her chest. Immediately, she examined Raven intently to assure that the darker girl was breathing—and she was. Hesitantly, Starfire reached out and trailed her finger alongside Raven's face. Raven twitched, but did not wake. A large weight was lifted from Starfire's chest as she saw that her friend was indeed all right. She smiled and climbed out of bed, careful not to wake the sleeping beauty.

Starfire glanced at the clock. It read 1:30 p.m. That meant she got at least seven hours of sleep. She remembered falling asleep just as the sun was beginning to rise. The others were all awake as well, and worried about Raven. Starfire walked into the main room, to see Robin typing at his computer while Cyborg and Beast Boy absentmindedly watched a program on TV. Robin was the first to notice Starfire's presence.

"Star." he stood, walking towards her. "Is Raven all right?"

The ginger-haired damsel smiled and nodded. "Raven will be just fine."

Cyborg and Beast Boy stood, and joined the others. "What happened last night?" Beast Boy asked. "I don't get it …"

Starfire sighed. "I am unsure of how to explain it to you," she replied. "Raven cannot entirely control her powers. Last night, she lost what control she had. That is the greatest I can elucidate." She tried to keep a cheerful tone in her voice, but her words remained laced with gloom despite this.

Robin put his hand on her shoulder. "I know you must feel completely exhausted after last night. We all appreciate everything you did for Raven. You probably saved her life, Star. By all means, you should take the day off today. Don't even worry about it. We got a call a little while ago about Johnny Rancid but it's a minor threat. We can take it without you guys. You really should stay here with Raven."

"But Robin, are you sure you can—"

"Trust me, Star. I'm sure."

Starfire nodded in compliance. Robin nodded towards the others and they took off for the door. Feeling slightly relieved, Starfire returned to Raven's bedroom to see that the pale-skinned girl was just waking up. This brought a faint smile to her lips.

"Raven," she said, softly. "How are you feeling?"

Raven, somewhat startled by her friend's sudden entrance, replied in a calm voice. "My head is pounding."

"Perhaps you need some medicine," Starfire replied quickly, about to retrieve some from the kitchen.

"Star, don't," the other said, before Starfire could go. "I'll be fine. Medicine would conflict with the aftershock." She paused for a few moments, and seemed to enter a daze. She added blankly, "it isn't over."

Concerned, Starfire took a seat beside Raven on the bed. "W-what do you mean?"

"This is far from over," Raven confirmed. As if just realizing what she said, she changed the track of subject, standing. "Starfire, you _saved_ me last night. I don't have full consciousness of recollection, but I know the general essence of it all. Your powers must be drained. How are _you_ feeling?"

"I feel completely well," she replied quickly, in an attempt to disregard Raven's concern. Instead, she focused on the more serious matter. "What do you mean when you say that this is not over? I am concerned for you, friend Raven, and I will do whatever it takes to end this once and for all."

"It can't be helped."

"Do not speak such words. It very well can be helped."

A pause.

"I have to meditate," Raven said at last, leaving the room and quickly hurrying to the roof.

Starfire stood, about to follow her, but then decided against it. "Friend Raven needs time…" she said aloud to herself. Sighing, she returned to the kitchen at a loss for what to do next.

To pass the time until Raven's return, Starfire decided to make a kettle of herbal tea—Raven's favorite. When the water reached boil, Raven still had not returned. Starfire poured herself a small cup of it and added a single tea bag. She'd heard that this kind of tea helped calm nerves. That was perhaps what she needed most right now. Blankly, she bobbed the teabag in and out of the water as a dark green color dispersed throughout the cup. After a few sips, her mind was anything but calm. The way Raven said such things greatly worried the Tamaranian princess.

_This is far from over._

_ It can't be helped._

She itched to ask Raven about it. She had so many questions, such few answers. She knew, however, it wouldn't be wise to ask about it if Raven still wasn't ready to open up. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt her-- what exactly was Raven to her? This thought set her mind on a completely different track. Was Raven still her friend? Was she to simply disregard the affection that had taken place so freshly in the past?

Starfire was not one familiar with the ways of a girl like Raven. Like Starfire, Raven was an alien from another planet. Perhaps a kiss could mean something simple, like a mark of friendship. On Tamaran, a kiss may not have meant anything but Starfire learned that a kiss meant something very passionate, often meaning so much more than friendship, on planet Earth. She felt warmth immediately spread throughout her body and she knew it wasn't the tea. So confused, she closed her eyes and tried to clear her thoughts. It was true, she _wanted_ Raven to mean something more. Starfire cared for Robin, and for Beast Boy—Cyborg as well. But the way Raven made her feel wasn't anywhere in comparison to her _other_ friends.

Interrupted from her thoughts by a creaking in the stairs, Starfire was soon brought back to reality, and saw Raven standing in the doorway. She felt herself engulfed in a rosy blush, worried that Raven could see right through her, right into her thoughts. She did, after all, have telepathy. This feeling of embarrassment was followed by guilt and shame. How could she think of something so unimportant at such a serious moment? Raven—the girl who meant more to her than anybody else in her life—nearly lost her life the previous night.

"Herbal tea?" Raven asked, walking to Starfire. "I didn't know you were into it."

"Oh! I made it for you, Raven," she explained, pushing her recent thoughts as far back into her mind as they would go. "And I tried some myself, I hope that is not of inconvenience!"

"Of course not," the dark girl responded in her usual monotone. She took an empty cup from the cupboard and fixed herself a cup. She sat beside Starfire and began to drink. Waiting a few moments, she finally spoke. "Listen, about last night," she paused once again and took a sip of tea. "Things happened that are far out of our control." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She continued speaking, taking a different turn. "Starfire, you saved my life. You… you put your life on the line for _me_." The two girls shared unbreakable eye contact. "Nobody has ever done that before. Not for me." Her voice hardened. "What a foolish thing to do."

Not knowing what to say, Starfire merely fixed her eyes on Raven's amethyst gaze and waited for her to continue.

"But a foolish thing that I will be eternally grateful for," she said, her voice softer. "That power… it's far beyond what we can manage. I don't know how you did what you did last night—this morning, whatever. But Starfire, listen to me when I say this, however you did it… you can't ever do that again."

Starfire looked puzzled. "But Raven, if your life were to be put in danger again—"

"Then let it be so!" she retorted. "Something is after me," she continued darkly. "No matter how hard I try to evade this, it is inevitable."

Her voice was convinced. The look in Raven's eyes were so sure, so unchanging. "Raven… there is something you are not telling me."

"Starfire, do you love me?" Raven asked, her voice strong with confidence yet interlaced with fear.

The lavender-haired girl's choice of words were certainly striking. Starfire blinked and felt a heavy pressure on her chest. Choosing her words carefully, her voice couldn't help but tremble. "Yes, Raven. I do."

"If what you say is true… then you will respect my decision to leave this matter alone. These affairs cannot be interfered with by outsiders." She stood up, and left the room.

Starfire's stomach fell and her entire body went numb with unhappiness.

_ Like a knife through the heart._

_tbc.  
_


	10. Chapter X

"**Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter X**

**---/---**

Raven sat at her desk, a thick silver-paged hardcover book lay in front of her. Her amethyst orbs scanned the pages, each line, ritually turning each page to only bite her lip and read more. The book, in its intimidating breadth, had gold-edged papers and an engraved title on the cover.

_"What is this book?"_ Starfire had previously inquired, pulling down the massive hardcover book. It had slipped from her hands and landed on the floor, causing a cloud of dust to disperse into the air.

Raven had rushed to her side, picking up the book and hugging it to her chest. "_It's… a forbidden book. Each page is lined with perilous black magic, a magic only to be performed by the greatest dark wizards and witches,"_ she carefully explained, standing on her toes to push the heavy book back into its spot on the shelf.

The contents of this book now enveloped the dark girl's mind. She had not left her room for three days, save for bathroom visits and unseen trips to the kitchen for water. She was almost halfway through the book. Her pale finger traced the lines as she read them, and her lips mouthed the words as they entered her mind. She knew what kind of territory she was treading, and she was prepared to take on the worst.

Meanwhile, Starfire was a wreck. Unlike Raven, she left her room and ambled about the tower, but not cheerful like usual. When the others tried asking about it, she merely put on an artificial smile and assured them that everything was going perfectly fine. Always, though, she ended up strewn across her unmade bed. The energy was drained from her. With what seemed like two members less of the team, this significantly worried Robin and the others.

"I've never seen this side of Star," Robin said, slumping his shoulders forward and sighing. "And I haven't even _seen_ Raven. What's happening to us?"

"Don't worry 'bout it, Rob," Cyborg assured, putting his hand on the boy wonder's shoulder. "She'll be okay."

Feeling hunger for the first time in days, Raven paused her practice and stood. As reluctant as she was to face the titans, she knew that her judgment and focus would be compromised if she continued on an empty stomach. Grudgingly, she walked out of her room and into the kitchen. So far, nobody had taken notice that she was out. This relieved her. However, as she stood before the refrigerator, deciding on what she wanted to eat, a familiar voice from beside her made her cringe in remorse.

"Raven…" It was Starfire. "You have finally decided to leave your room. Have things improved?"

"Not really," came her response. She reached in the fridge and pulled out a tub of plain yogurt. She continued rummaging in the fridge.

"Am I still… an _outsider_?" She spoke the last word in melancholy, a tone that rang strongly in her voice.

Taking out a bag of strawberries and closing the door, Raven sighed. The wretchedness in her teammate's voice made her feel terrible. Feelings were a waste, she reminded herself. She placed the two contents on the counter and opened a cupboard to find a bowl. This was so difficult, she thought. It was like learning how not to feel, all over again. She chose her words carefully. "Everyone's an outsider, Starfire."

Starfire nodded slowly. She hung her head and turned away. "Then, I apologize for interfering again." She floated away from Raven.

The lilac-haired girl felt horrible. She wanted more than ever to turn around and tell Starfire that she didn't mean it. She wanted to tell her that she was sorry for her cold attitude, and that she wanted to just forget everything bad that had happened. She couldn't do that, though. Not when she knew she was in trouble. She knew her emotions were not ready for this, and as much as it killed her, she needed to make Starfire see this.

Once Raven mixed the yogurt and berries, she brought the bowl with her into her room where she disappeared once again. She ate as she read, taking in each word, each syllable and embedding the spells into her mind. Black magic was terribly dangerous, and it required utmost skill… skill that Raven was not sure she possessed. She didn't have any mentors or any higher power she could speak to and ask for advice. She'd already considered making a journey back to Azeroth, but truth be told, she never wanted to see that place again. It harbored too many dark memories. This was her last chance to save herself, and her teammates.

Sitting on the roof, Starfire thought about Raven. She knew that she couldn't help and she _knew_ that Raven knew this. Why would she refuse a companion? Whenever Starfire felt alone and in trouble, what she wanted most was somebody to share the feelings with. There was nobody she had ever wanted to share herself with more. The feeling seemed mutual, but now Raven rejected and denied her. Starfire drew her legs in and wrapped her arms around them, lost in thought.

She turned around, startled as she heard the roof door close. Her first instinct was that it was Raven. To her dismay, it was merely her green teammate. "Hello, Beast Boy."

"Hey…" he walked over to her and sat next to her. "Don't take anything that Rae says seriously. I'm sure she loves you, she's just… troubled right now."

Starfire's eyes widened. "Beast Boy… you _knew_?"

He smiled. "Are you kidding? The way you two have been glued to each other? And that one time I came into Raven's room… I admit that I sort of…" he rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. "I saw you two about to kiss."

"Oh, I see…" her cheeks flushed. "And you are not troubled? I understand that relationships between two girls are not..." she struggled for the word, "_customary_ on this planet." She felt her stomach flip as she used the world _relationship._ Was that even what she had with the other girl? Or maybe that was just her wishful thinking.

Beast Boy laughed. "Troubled? Me? I think it's kinda hot," he assured her, nervously. His blush slowly faded. "Wanna know something?"

She nodded. "Sure."

"To be honest, I've always kind of had a thing for Rae. It was stupid though, and she never would have felt the same. Please don't tell her. I just figured it might make you feel a little better… just because, you know, you have a chance with her. A _big_ chance." He put a hand on Starfire's shoulder. "She may never admit this, but she needs you now more than ever. You just have to keep your distance. But make her know that she is _never_ alone. I guess I kinda blew my chances at doing that kind of thing, hah."

The redhead tilted her head to the side. "Beast Boy, I was not aware that you were capable of giving the advice."

"Haha, yeah," he said, uncertainly. "I guess I'm just full of surprises."

He stood and Starfire looked up at him. "Thank you… you do not know how much this has helped." She rose as well.

"Hey, no problem," he responded. "Just… don't mention this to Cyborg or Robin. I'd never hear the end of it."

"Agreed!" Starfire pulled Beast Boy into a hug.

"Wanna come downstairs and watch TV or something?"

Starfire smiled. "No thank you. I think I am going to stay up here for a little while longer."

He nodded. "I understand. Remember what I told you!" He shot her a toothy grin before returning downstairs.

Standing before the altar, Raven lit the final candle. This was it. Her first attempts usually never took, but it was all about the practice she gained. In truth, she hadn't used black magic since Malchior. The thought of it worried her. If her powers were out of control as normal, her black magic could be fatal. This is why she decided to start small. If she recited a small spell, the effects of possible repercussions were reduced sharply. That was her main concern. If she were to ever hurt her friends… she wouldn't be able to live with herself.

Her altar was finally complete. She had the incantations memorized. Every syllable of every line, she knew by heart. Standing before the altar, Raven closed her eyes and focused her energy. She pressed her palms together and slowly spoke the chant.

"Exigo a me non ut optimis…" as she spoke the invocation, a wind swirled around her body. She heard the pages of her books flutter, but she continued. "…par sim sed ut malis melior!" Once she spoke the final word, her eyes opened. With horror, she observed the scene around her.

She had created a whirlwind—and she was at the center of it all. Funnels twisted and turned around her, and everything turned a diaphanous milky hue. It became difficult to see anything except what now appeared before her: a pair of four daunting, crimson eyes. They were terribly familiar. Those flaming eyes glowered at Raven. They looked like the eyes of Trigon, her father. It had been so long since she was haunted by the likeness of the horrifying beast. She tried to speak, but was rendered speechless.

"Little girl," roared deep, thunderous. "You are not to fool around with powers beyond your control." Even the voice sounded terrifyingly similar to Trigon's.

Raven gasped. She refused to believe it. Though she could not escape, she twisted and thrashed about. She shouted, above the noise, "You're not my father!" She knew it couldn't be true. She defeated him. He _wasn't_ around anymore. "You don't frighten me!" she yelled. It was a lie. Honestly, she had never been more scared in her life.

The funnels shrank, and the illustration of the face before her grew stronger and stronger. Behind the face, she noticed a swirling portal. It glimmered and glistened as it spun. "You will obey me." The resonance became distorted. "You will obey me," it repeated.

"NO!" shouted Raven. She was using all of her strength and power to resist the control. She whipped and thrashed her body free of the invisible grasp. She felt herself growing weaker. The fear was taking over her. It happened, just as her mother had once told her. _Submitting to emotions will forever end in ruin. _The despair was eating away at her. Before long, she would be nothing but a mortal.

It was getting more and more difficult to breathe. The image of Trigon became defined, and soon it wasn't just his face. It was his entire body, scarlet with rage. His hands closed around her body, crushing her ribs. She cried out, but no sound came. Finally, he released his grip and she fell to the floor. Her blood pooled around her body and throbbed in pain.

"NOOOO!" she screamed. She sat up in bed, her entire body drenched in a cold sweat. Her hair was matted against her face. She had fallen asleep. Trigon wasn't there. She was simply dreaming.

_tbc._


	11. Chapter XI

"**Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter XI**

**---/---**

Starfire had been sitting beside Raven, and put her hands on the frightened girl to soothe her apparent horror. "Raven, calm down. It was merely a bad dream. You have nothing to be afraid of. I am here." She affectionately rubbed Raven's arm, in an almost maternal way.

Blinking at Starfire, Raven finally realized who the other girl was. She appreciatively threw her arms around the Tamaranian. In the moment, all anger and coldness she felt diminished. It merely felt good to be alive, to know that Trigon is not a threat. It was a dream. A nightmare.

It startled her, but Starfire hugged Raven gently. "I am sorry for meddling where I was not supposed to be," she apologized. "I will be sure to keep my distance from now on."

Raven pulled away from Starfire with intense guilt and shook her head. "No. No, I was wrong. I feel terrible. I-I just didn't want you getting hurt… but this is not something I can stop myself. The longer I avoid it, the more powerful it becomes. The dream I just had - well, the nightmare - it was about my father. It was more real than any dream I've ever had before." Starfire nodded. "I'm not sure what it means, or if it's spawned purely out of my anxiety about this whole situation, but I'm taking it as a sign either way. Better safe than sorry."

"Is there anything I can do?"

Raven sighed. Her answer surprised Starfire: "Maybe there is. I've been thinking about it, and maybe you can be of a little help. At least. I may know a protection spell that will come in handy should anything happen to me - or especially you."

Starfire's face lit up. "This is wonderful! What can I do?"

Exhaling sharply, Raven buried her head in her hands. "I…don't know. Not specifically." She put her hands down and contemplated for a moment. "But, I do know where to start." She used her telekinesis to carry over the large spell book she'd been studying. "I can teach you _this. _It's a book of spells. Even I'm still learning it."

"But I am not a sorceress," Starfire said, a sad intonation in her voice.

"I know. But whatever you did the other day in the pool—that has enormous significance. You could be very powerful." She gently placed the large book in Starfire's lap.

The Tamaranian ran her fingers over the embossed cover. "I remember this book," she said. "This is black magic, is it not? Dangerous magic?"

Raven nodded, avoiding eye contact with the other girl. "It is. It's extremely dangerous and I'm using it as a last resort. If you aren't interested in studying it, I respect your very intelligent decision."

"No. I honestly want to help. I want it no other way." Starfire sighed. "If you have confidence in me, then I have no choice but to have confidence in myself as well."

Raven smiled. "We mustn't tell the others. They would try and stop us - or at least I know Robin would. Cyborg doesn't need to know either. And Beast Boy, well, his mind probably wouldn't be able to process what we're trying to do," she said with a chuckle. "So let this be our secret, okay?"

Enthusiastically, Starfire nodded. "I understand Raven. Let's begin, before more unfortunate things occur to you, yes?"

Raven opened the book and began to go over with Starfire the components she was already familiar with, to save time from reading the unnecessary text. Starfire watched with wide-eyed attention and attempted to take in as much as she possibly could. The two girls pored over the ancient text until past midnight when only Raven's yellowing lamp lit the pages.

"I think that's enough for tonight," said Raven, closing the book. "I don't want to give you too much information. You'd forget it all by morning. Do you have a pretty good understanding so far?"

Starfire nodded. "I do. I am trying my best to follow along. I promise not to let you down." She ran her fingers nervously through her orange hair.

"I really appreciate this."

"And I appreciate that you are letting me help. I promise I will do everything I can."

The two girls locked eyes and Starfire hesitantly leaned in. Raven turned her face and stood up, backing away from Starfire. Their faces both turned bright red. "I'm sorry but... after what happened... you understand, right?"

"Yes of course," said Starfire sympathetically. She looked around nervously. "It is time for sleep now?"

"Unfortunately," replied Raven dryly. "If it were up to me, I'd stay awake for weeks straight - especially after that dream last night. But I can't afford that now. I can't compromise my judgment at a time like this."

"I understand. Well then, I wish you a good night with only sweet dreams and no more nightmares."

"Thanks Star. I'll see you tomorrow. Bright and early, okay?"

She nodded diligently. "Yes! Tomorrow."

Disappointed, she left Raven's room. She had originally hoped to be a little more affectionate, but she recognized that as a selfish feeling. It was hard not to let her mind drift into such fluffy topics, especially at such a serious time when it was so tempting to escape to happier thoughts. Starfire walked into the kitchen and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost two in the morning. She opened the fridge in search of a meal, but didn't find much that wasn't already spoiled. She pulled out a rounded Tupperware and lifted the cover. It smelled rancid. She sighed and put it back into the refrigerator and retreated to her room instead.

She felt restless. Though her eyes strained when reading the small text of the book, she was now wide awake. She laid in bed quietly and shut her eyes, waiting to fall asleep. What seemed like hours passed, and she sat up, stealing a glance at her clock. It was only a quarter to three. She sighed and rested her head against her wall. Sleep didn't seem probable. She decided to do the next best thing and sit on the roof for a little while.

Quietly, Starfire flew up the stairs and shut the roof door gently. It was windy but the city was quiet. The air was warm; it felt relieving and peaceful. Starfire sat on the edge with her legs dangling, recalling the last time she'd spent up there and was visited by Beast Boy. She cracked a smile at the thought of him having feelings for Raven. It seemed sweet. She vaguely wondered if Raven ever felt the same, even for a moment's time. The thought evoked a strange jealousy in her. If Raven ever _did_ feel the same about him, Starfire would gladly give her up, if it meant happiness for the small, sad girl. The feeling that dominated inside of her was the yearning to help, the yearning to make a difference.

An idea crossed her mind. She stood and wondered if Raven was asleep yet. Maybe, just maybe, if Starfire were quiet enough, she could steal away the book, just for a few hours. That way she could continue studying and slip it back into her room before morning. She would pretend that she just woke up in the morning, and Raven would never know. She couldn't possibly become angry.

Starfire was surprised at how easy it was. Before she knew it, she was carrying the leather-bound book up to the rooftop where she planned to study diligently. She sat comfortably in a cross-legged position and began to read. The book was certainly nothing like a textbook. Every few pages there was a classical drawing of some sorcerer or sorceress summoning a dragon or some kind of spirit. It was difficult for Starfire to get used to the dialect it was written in. It was very proper and it being so old, the wording was a bit different. It was hard for her not to take some of the more figurative language literally, as she normally would. Nonetheless, the book engulfed her. It was dawn before she knew it, and time to quietly return the book.

As she slipped into Raven's room, she made absolute sure not to make a noise. And then a problem occurred: she realized she didn't remember where exactly she picked up the book from! If she didn't return it to the exact place, Raven would surely find out. It would be embarrassing to admit that she not only snuck into her room and invaded her privacy, but avoided sleep altogether, something that Raven specifically advised against. Starfire closely examined Raven's bureau and racked her memory for the positioning of the book. She placed it down softly, tilting her head as if that would change her perception of things. Beside the book, she saw an antique hand mirror. As she glanced down at it, she swore she could have seen a face other than her own. She looked again and it was gone. Genuinely curious and somewhat frightened, she picked up the mirror and looked closely in it to examine it for what she thought she saw.

The mirror opened like a portal and Starfire couldn't resist the vacuum of energy pulling her in. The last thing Starfire saw was her own indistinct reflection.

_tbc._


	12. Chapter XII

"**Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter XII**

**-/-**

Raven sprang up from her slumber and surveyed her room. Everything looked just as it had when she had fallen asleep, yet something felt terrible wrong. Her thoughts were disoriented and she felt nauseous. Carefully she rose to her feet and dragged her tired body into the bathroom. She squinted at her pallid reflection in the mirror - she looked terrible.

After an early morning shower, she returned to her room to dress herself. The strange sickness she felt would have to be put aside. There were more important things to worry about. With no sign of Starfire still, Raven decided to dive into the material herself. She felt bad about waking up the cheerful girl so early; she'd give her at least another hour. All while she buried herself in the information, it seemed impossible to focus. Her eyes were reading the letters perfectly, but her mind made no sense of it. She realized this once she scanned an entire page and had no recollection of what she'd just read. Frustrated, she decided to meditate.

She levitated her body a few feet off of the ground and chanted her mantra. "Azerath, metrion, zinthos." Instead of sinking into a place of somber tranquility where she could maintain a peaceful sense of self, she only achieved irritation. Her thoughts were heavy. Inner peace seemed like static, far off. It was the first time this had ever happened and it worried her what it could mean. She continued trying, in vain. She picked up her hand-mirror and stared into it. All she saw was her own reflection.

* * *

The first thing Starfire noticed was the sky. She was flat on her back looking straight up and all she saw was black. It was haunting, because she was so used to the stars. Even on Tamaran there were stars at night. She wasn't completely sure what planet she had landed on, but she already didn't feel comfortable there. She carefully rose to her feet and examined the surroundings. She was on cracked dry ground and there were trees placed sporadically. The trees didn't have leaves, it was like the Earthly season winter without snow. Everything was so foreign to her that she would be relieved at the sight of the fluffy, wet precipitation. Anything familiar. She started walking in hopes of finding a way out. She couldn't help but feel like she was being followed.

"S-Starfire?"

Starfire jumped at this, and quickly turned around. It was Raven. Starfire felt deeply confused. "Raven, is that you?"

It looked like Raven all right. Only, instead of the dark purple cloak she was wearing a light grey one. "Uhm, a-almost. What are you doing here? This is so dangerous."

"What do you mean by almost? Where are we?"

She shook her head. "Th-this is my mind. I can't control what happens to you here. You'd better leave."

"This is the inside of your head?" Starfire asked, looking around. "How do I leave?"

"I... I don't know. I wish I could tell you. I'm sorry. I'm always so useless."

Starfire shook her head. "You are anything but useless, Raven. You are worrying me. What is this peculiar behavior?"

"I'm sorry. I don't mean it."

"Do not apologize. I merely wish to understand," she explained.

"I'm sorry! I mean - ooh. All I do is cause trouble for you. This is all my fault. I truly apologize. You're my best friend. The last thing I want to do is put you in danger."

"Your... _best_ friend?" Starfire flushed. Raven had never acknowledged their relationship before. To hear it sent shivers down Starfire's spine, and suddenly she felt warm.

"Yeah... I'm sorry, I'm being totally creepy. I wish I could help you find your way home."

"Will you stay with me?" she asked, not wanting her to leave, not yet.

"S-stay with you?"

"Perhaps I will find the way out easier with you by my side, no?"

"Really? Well, I am probably going to disappoint you. Oh, and beware the others."

"The 'others'? And you are all Raven?"

"Yeah, but only parts of her. You should look out mostly for Rudeness and Rage."

"Rudeness? Rage? And who are you?"

"They call me... Timidity... I guess I can see why, though." Timidity smiled shyly.

"I cannot say that I completely understand where I am and what this is, but it is nice to meet you Timidity."

"You've known me for a while, I'm pretty sure. Oh, and I have a terrible sense of direction. Do you mind leading the way?"

Starfire smiled. "I am equally as lost as you must be," she replied. "Let us begin anywhere." The two of them continued walking through most of what appeared to be a desolate wasteland. "How big is this..." began Starfire. She wanted to call it a 'planet' or a 'place' but both of those seemed a bit offensive, if what the strange Raven lookalike said was true.

"I don't know. I've never seen the whole thing. I don't like to travel alone..."

"I must admit, I am frightened. Is it all so dark and dreary?"

"Not all of it," Timidity replied. "I suppose you will see in time."

"Starfire!" exclaimed a voice in the distance. It was Raven in a pink cloak. The pink figure in the distance came closer at an alarming rate and eventually nearly tackled Starfire over with a hug. "Star! It's so great to see you!"

Starfire was speechless. "Raven, I do not think I have ever seen you so happy!"

"Of course you have!" she exclaimed. "The only time I'm this happy is around you, silly."

Starfire turned red, unsure of what to say.

"Shh. You're going to scare her off," Timidity warned.

"Whaat!" exclaimed the pink girl. "I could never scare her off. We're like two peas in a pod. Right, Star?"

"I am confused about what peas in pods have to do with-"

Starfire's confused statement was cut off by uproarious laughter. "Oh Star, you crack me up!"

"If I may make a guess, would you happen to be Happiness?"

Happiness smiled. "Right on!"

Starfire returned the other girl's grin. "You really should show this part of yourself more often."

"I agree," the pink one replied. "Tell that to the others, though!" She began to hum and started skipping. Starfire and Timidity followed her. "So where are we headed?"

"I am in search of the way out."

"Come on! You just got here," replied Happiness.

"I know. However, I am most sure that I am not supposed to be here. I came here accidentally, and if Raven were to know, she would be angry with me."

"I could never be angry at you, Star." She smiled and sent that warm current through Starfire yet again.

Starfire was confused about how to address this Raven or that Raven, and how to refer to the original Raven, the one that she knew and loved - but if she knew and loved her, then wouldn't that mean she loved all of her parts as well? The thoughts made her dizzy. She couldn't dare be found by Earth-Raven. Still, nobody knew the way out. Starfire wanted more than anything to speak to Beast Boy or Cyborg and learn the trick to coming back safely. It seemed near impossible.

"Please," Starfire asked at last. "Please tell me that you know the way home. To my home. To Earth, where all parts of Raven become one."

"I'm sorry, Star," Happiness said.

Starfire bowed her head in disappointment.

"But don't be sad," she continued, taking Starfire's hand playfully in her own. The redhead lifted her eyes to meet Happiness'. "We can help you find your way out. Right Timidity?"

Shyly, the grey-cloaked Raven nodded. "I'll do my best... even though it isn't much."

Starfire smiled at their kindness. She stopped and took Timidity's hands in her own. "That is all I ask for," she said with a smile. Timidity's cheeks lit up in a deep blush, and immediately directed her eyesight to the ground below her. "So tell me, how is life for you here?" Starfire asked in an attempt to make light conversation.

"Well," began Happiness. She put a finger on her chin in thoughtfulness. "It's kinda lonely."

Starfire furrowed her brows. "How so?"

Happiness shrugged. "Well it's different for each of us, but I'm rarely down there," she explained, pointed to the ground.

"Down there?"

"You know, with Raven. The complete Raven."

Starfire nodded. "Why do you not wish to inhabit our Raven? You seem so full of cheer and joy."

"I am," she confirmed. "They don't call me Happiness for nothin'!" The pink-cloaked girl giggled. "It's dangerous, you know! My emotions are still a little whacked out."

"I see. I still find it a shame that you cannot express your happiness. I do hope you may find some peace eventually."

Happiness smiled and took Starfire's hand in her own. "You... you kinda are my peace," she said, another uncharacteristic smile spreading across her face.

Starfire returned the kind gesture with a smile of her own and felt a blush rise to her cheeks. She wondered if Raven, the Raven she knew, really felt that way. The mere thought made her blush even more. Her blissful thoughts were interrupted by a strange, unfamiliar feeling. She assessed her surroundings and listened closely for anything out of the ordinary. She heard nothing. It was almost as if she could feel someone - or some_thing_ breathing down her neck. Starfire stopped in her tracks and looked behind her.

"Whatsamatter?" asked Happiness.

"Do you... feel something behind us?"

"Behind us?" cried Timidity, latching herself to Starfire's shoulder at once.

"Perhaps it was nothing..." Starfire said, and continued walking. Timidity stayed close to her side. The three of them continued walking, until this time Starfire heard an familiar noise which stopped her yet again. "I am sure I heard something that time," she announced.

"I'm scared," murmured Timidity. She buried her face in Starfire's shoulder.

"Are you sure you really heard something?" asked Happiness, becoming concerned as well. She looked behind them but saw nothing.

Starfire sighed and hung her head low. "I would not be surprised if I am imagining things even now. At this point, I will believe anything."

* * *

Raven made her way to the living quarters listlessly. Her face was paler than usual and bags remained beneath her eyes. Living without meditation was quite a difficult feat for her to accomplish, especially so early in the morning. She was surprised to see Robin awake, enjoying a cup of what looked like either coffee or hot cocoa, sitting in the kitchen.

"Whoa, Raven," Robin said, upon seeing his tired teammate. "Are you feeling all right? You look terrible."

"I'm fine," was her immediate response. She hated when others made such observations about her though she understood the concern. "I can't seem to meditate," she replied, with a disappointed sigh. "It's unlike me. I don't know what's up."

"Have you been sleeping alright?"

She thought about it and shrugged. "I guess not." Had it really been so long since she had a peaceful night's sleep? She rubbed her head as she felt a migraine coming on. She continued dragging her feet to the kitchen, where she put on a pot of tea. Her eyes wandered to the window, where she caught sight of the sun. "Looks like Starfire's having some trouble as well," Raven commented through a stifled yawn. "She's usually the first one up."

Robin smiled softly at her observation. He was amazed at how close the two girl's had gotten. It was nice to see Raven care so deeply about somebody else, even if it was his ex-girlfriend. Both girls needed somebody close to confide in, and he was glad they had found it in each other.

As Raven waited for the kettle to boil, she decided to wake up Starfire. She knocked on her teammate's door. The corners of her mouth turned upward in a smirk; Starfire seemed to be a heavier sleeper than she'd thought. Gently, she slid open Starfire's doors, softly calling her name. Perhaps she'd worked the titan too hard with the studies of magic. To her dismay, Starfire's bed was empty.

After checking the various places that she supposed Starfire would be: the roof, the pool, the training room, even a desperate peek in the utility closet.

Raven hurried back into the kitchen just as her kettle began to go off.

"Robin."

The boy wonder looked up at his teammate.

"Starfire's gone."

_tbc._


	13. Chapter XIII

"**Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter XIII**

**-/-**

Starfire felt like she was in over head - although she was inside _Raven's_. So far she had met Timidity and Happiness, two emotions that although they looked identical to Raven, were quite different. They were only parts of her, aspects of her emotions that had been separated to make managing them a bit easier. It felt as if she had fallen into some sort of alternate universe, a wonderland perhaps. Starfire was the kind of person who felt that everything happened for a reason, and surely there would be a reason for this as well. She did not intentionally wander into Raven's thoughts, but at that moment she felt more in control than she had so far.

"Uhm, I apologize in advance for inquiring, but... do either of you know where we are going?"

"Nope!" exclaimed Happiness, a little too ...happily.

"Eh?-!" shrieked Timidity. "I thought you knew where we were! Does this mean we're lost?"

"Don't be so negative," proclaimed the pink-cloaked titan. "Just because I don't know where we are doesn't mean we're lost!"

A sweat drop appeared on Timidity's forehead, and she began to hyperventilate.

"Ah! Look!" exclaimed Starfire, pointing. "I see somebody who may be of assistance."

Timidity squinted. "That's Envy," she informed Starfire quietly. "She doesn't like me very much..."

"She doesn't like _anyone_ very much," Happiness corrected. "She's a girl true to her name." Standing on her toes, Happiness waved down the brown-cloaked Raven, who then approached them.

"Starfire," Envy said, her brows furrowing into a look of concern. "How did you get here?"

The redhead sighed. "It is... complicated. But while I am here, I am determined to try and help Raven."

"And we're lost," added Timidity.

"Oh... I can help, too," Envy assured her. She carefully worked her way between Starfire and Timidity, so that she was standing right between them. "We should go this way if you want to get back to the main path," she added, leading the other three girls.

Starfire cleared her throat. "Do you... do you think Raven will be very angry with me, after this?" Starfire asked quietly.

"We can never stay mad at you for long," Happiness assured her, putting a hand on the taller girl's shoulder.

Envy shot an untrusting glance at Happiness and mimicked the motion.

Starfire chuckled uneasily at the petty tension between the girls. It felt awkward but brushed the feeling off. It felt like they had been walking forever, although Starfire was sure it had only been a short time. So many questions swam inside of her head; she wasn't sure which to ask first. "How does it feel?" she finally asked.

"How does what feel?" asked Envy.

"How does it feel being ...separate from one another?"

"It gets lonely," replied Timidity, staring at the ground as she walked.

"But now that you're here, it's not as bad," added Happiness. The three emotions blushed and Starfire felt the inside of her stomach grow warm.

"How many of you are there? How many emotions, I mean."

"There are nine of us?" Timidity replied uncertainly.

"Yes, that is correct," confirmed Happiness, with a small smile. "There are us three, and then Braveness, Purity, Rage, Rudeness, Wisdom, and Love."

Starfire blushed at the last one listed. _Love_. It was something that crossed her mind often, although she felt silly for thinking of such a petty thing when her friend was in such obvious distress. Still, the feeling pressed on within her. It was no doubt that she felt something ignite during their first kiss. Even when she believed that she had feelings for Robin, she had never felt so weightless and entranced. Memories of their second kiss brought a heavy feeling of guilt to Starfire's stomach. Was it the kiss that triggered Raven's powers to lose control? Even if it had not, Raven was obviously upset by the sentiment. This was something that plagued Starfire deeply, and she wondered if this would be the place she would find answers.

"What do you suppose are the odds of running into each emotion?" asked Starfire quietly.

Envy crossed her arms. "Hopefully none."

"Now, now, Envy," teased Happiness. "As much as you may want to, you cannot keep Starfire all to yourself." She turned to the red-haired girl. "I suppose there is a fair chance of it. Is there somebody in particular that you wanted to meet?"

"Well, actually..." began Starfire, her cheeks burning bright.

"Wait!" interrupted Happiness. "I think I know what you're onto!"

"You do?-!" exclaimed Starfire, blushing even more furiously.

"Yes! And I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier. Silly me!"

Starfire raised her eyebrows. She felt a flutter of hope inside of her. "Really?"

"Yes! We need to find Wisdom. She ought to know how to help you find your way out."

Her stomach dropped, although she realized Happiness had a point. Her feelings of hope were immediately replaced with feelings of stupidity, and guilt. "You are correct. That is precisely what I was thinking," Starfire lied.

* * *

"Gone? What do you mean gone?" asked Robin in alarm.

Raven was out of breath. "She's not in her room. I've checked all over the tower. There's something wrong, I can feel it."

"Are you sure she didn't just step out to get some fresh air? Raven, you've been acting really strange lately."

"I promise, I'll explain everything later. Right now we need to focus on finding Starfire. Things have been going on with me lately, as I'm sure you've noticed," she explained. "And I didn't want to drag her into it. But I think I already have. Robin, you have to listen to me and trust me. I will never forgive myself if she's hurt. Just take my word for it and help me find her. Get Beast Boy and Cyborg and meet me back here as soon as possible."

Robin stared at Raven for a moment longer before nodding and going to fetch the others.

Raven returned to her room and began to pace nervously. Could it have been the magic that did it? It was highly prohibited and extremely dangerous. They had hardly begun working with it though, and hadn't even learned any incantations. Raven rushed to her bookshelf to retrieve the book for any clues before realizing that it wasn't on her shelf at all. Instead, it rested atop her desk. She remembered distinctly replacing it on the shelf the night before. This meant that somebody had used it - and with each passing second it seemed more and more likely that that somebody was Starfire.

Something else caught Raven's attention. Something, perhaps, even more dangerous. Beside the leather-bound book was her mirror - her very special meditation mirror, the same one that Beast Boy and Cyborg had tampered with once long ago. An even heavier feeling of dread filled Raven's stomach. She held the mirror up to her face and stared into it. She only saw her own reflection. It was as good as any regular mirror, now. Her mind was too clouded, and she needed to meditate. If her suspicions were correct, Starfire could be in more danger than any black magic could manage.

She carried the mirror with her as she went to meet the other Titans.

"Hey Rae, what's going on?" asked Beast Boy, as soon as he saw her. His eyes trailed to the mirror she was holding at her side and his breath caught in his throat. "Is that...?"

"Do you remember this?" she asked, holding out the mirror.

Both Beast Boy and Cyborg nodded.

"I think I know where Starfire went."

"But how?" asked Beast Boy.

"The same way you two did," she snapped. "Only now, I can't get back in. I can't get it and I can't meditate. And Starfire is in trouble, I can feel it."

"What can we do?" asked Robin.

"There's only one thing I know of. I'm not even sure that it will work. And it is extremely dangerous."

Beast Boy gulped. "Is it painful?" he asked in a tiny voice.

"It's... black magic."

* * *

"Here we are!" exclaimed Happiness. She stood outside of a temple-like building that belonged to Wisdom. Torches decorated the sides of the front door, and the pink-cloaked girl stepped forward to knock.

"This place is scary," said Timidity, hiding behind Starfire.

Envy caught sight of Timidity's propinquity to the red-haired girl and took a step closer as well. "Oh come on, we've been here plenty of times," said Envy with a scowl.

"Stop bickering, you two," Happiness said.

The large door before them opened, and there stood another Raven-clone. She was wearing a pale yellow cloak and glasses. The shock of seeing Starfire there was apparent on her face. "Starfire," she said, with fear in her voice. "What are you doing here?" She briefly looked at the other three girls before looking back at Starfire. "You... you can't be here. You need to leave."

"I don't know how to leave," Starfire admitted. "But while I am here, I am going to try to help Raven. Surely you know the trials and tribulations she has endured lately. I only wish to ease her pain."

Wisdom looked stern. "There is nothing you can do."

Starfire balled her hands into fists at her side. She had enough with being useless. There had to be _something_ that could be done. She'd helped Raven before, somehow, and she could do it again. "I do not know what exactly is wrong," she continued. "I am unsure whether it is Trigon behind this again - but if he is, I have no doubt that he can be defeated. He was defeated once before and surely he must be weakened since-"

"Starfire," said Wisdom, softly. The other emotion's furrowed their brows as they came into understanding. "It isn't Trigon. Not this time. I don't know how to tell you this," she said, swallowing nervously.

"What is it, then? Will there always be 'nothing' I can do? I will prove to you all that I am not useless, that my powers can help save my friend. I will fight to the end."

Wisdom swallowed, her skin even more pale than usual. "Starfire," she repeated. "The one who is the root cause of this is... well... it's _you_."

_tbc._


	14. Chapter XIV

**"Cimmerian Sunbeams"**

**Chapter XIV**

Starfire felt herself go pale. A breath caught in her throat. _It is me._ The words kept repeating themselves in her mind. _It is me, it is me, it is me. I am the one responsible. _She could barely breathe, barely see before her. Before she knew it, tears were streaming down her face and she had fallen to her knees.

Before she could process what was happening around her, Starfire was surrounded by Happiness, Envy, Timidity and Wisdom. "Starfire, are you all right?" asked Wisdom, worriedly. She kneeled beside Starfire and put a hand on her shoulder. Timidity nervously wrung her hands, unsure of what to do.

"It is me. I am the one responsible," she finally vocalized through sobs.

"Starfire," said Happiness, kneeling beside Wisdom. "Starfire, honey, calm down." She affectionately touched Starfire's face, using her thumb to wipe some of the Tamaranian princess' tears away. "Please, calm down. It's not as bad as it sounds. I promise you. Please don't cry anymore."

Starfire looked up at the pink-cloaked girl, and wiped her face. "I cannot believe that I am the one that Raven… that you all have been running from. I do not want to believe it."

"Listen to me, Starfire," said Wisdom, a stern look on her face. "Please, take what I am going to say into consideration, all right?"

She sniffled, and nodded.

"Since you are the one who is the root of this, you are also the one who can stop it."

Suddenly, a small current of hope rushed throughout her body. "How can I stop it?"

Wisdom and Happiness exchanged glances. "You're going to have to confront Affection."

* * *

"What exactly _is_ black magic?" asked Beast Boy timidly.

"It is essentially chaos magic," answered Raven. "It's magic that is best used around themes of death, separation, severance and entropy. It is the strongest and most dangerous, and therefore must be handled with extreme care and patience."

Raven was sick with worry. She knew how delicately this type of magic needed to be handled, but she was hardly sure she could pull it off. Her hands were shaking even as she read through spells in a book. Her stomach felt nauseated and she hadn't eaten since Starfire's disappearance. She wasn't sure what her emotions could be telling Starfire, or what Starfire could be telling them. Raven once again cursed herself for not being more _normal_. For everyone else, matters of the emotions were settled so calmly. Instead, her emotions gave a whole new meaning to _emotional turmoil_.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" asked her green teammate.

Raven replied, "Sorry, Beast Boy. I've already endangered the life of Starfire. I don't want to hurt you, too."

"But I don't want you to get hurt, either."  
"You don't have to worry about me. Of us all, I am the most equipped to handle this."

Beast Boy took a deep breath. "You really like her, don't you?"

Raven's glance quickly flashed to his. "Of course I like her, Beast Boy, she's my team mate and I care about her. I'm the one who is to be blamed for what's happening, or what might happen to her, and therefore I am the only one who should really –"

He interrupted her. "I know you do, Rae, and I know you feel that way. But that isn't what I meant."

* * *

As the four emotions led the way to Affection, Starfire was overcome with anxiety. Just a small while ago, she had wanted to meet this emotion the most. Now, she wasn't sure what to expect.

"When you meet Affection," began Wisdom, "I want you to be very careful. Be careful of what you say, and how you say it. I'm only saying this because right now, Affection is the most highly charged of us all. If you say the wrong thing, she might take it the wrong way, and…" her voice trailed off.

"Oh, don't make it seem so terrible," interjected Happiness. "You have nothing to worry about, Star," she added, putting an arm around the scared girl. "You just have to remember one thing: be honest. Besides, Affection has been expecting you, and she has wanted to see you most of all."

Starfire's cheeks burned. She wasn't even sure what she was going to say to the other girl or even if what she was going to say would be wrong. She was willing to try anything, for Raven's sake. She had been thinking about it, and realized that she would even be willing to undo everything – undo the kiss, the trip to the spa, the movie, everything. If only she had stayed with Robin, and didn't meddle in her budding feelings for Raven, everything would have been okay. Raven would have been okay. She wouldn't have endangered the person she cared about most, her teammates or herself.

As they continued walking, they came across a small palace.

"That's where she lives," said Wisdom.

"It is beautiful," Starfire commented. It was one of the prettiest buildings she had ever seen. It even rivaled the palaces of Tamaran. A large black gate protected entrance to the palace. "But how am I to get inside?"

As if responding to her question, the gates themselves began to move. They slowly opened, granting access for the Tamaranian princess to tread along a path surrounded by garden, leading to the front door.

She moved forward, but realized that her four newfound friends hadn't moved. "Are you not going to enter?"

Timidity spoke up. "We… we shouldn't go with you."

"This is something you must do yourself," Wisdom added.

Happiness opened her mouth as if to say something, but instead just closed it and ran toward Starfire, embracing her in a tight hug. "You're my favorite person ever," she said to Starfire. "I can't wait for things to be okay between us again." She pulled away from Starfire and smiled.

Envy, keeping true to her namesake, approached Starfire as well and gave her a small hug. "Best of luck," she muttered, giving Happiness a sideward glance riddled with jealousy.

"Thank you all, for leading me here. I hope that I will not disappoint you, or Raven."

She took another deep breath and turned around to face the palace. She was officially on her own, and she had never been so scared before. She hovered a few inches off of the ground and made her way to the front door.

Instead of being greeted by Affection, the door opened itself to Starfire.

"Hello?" she called, hearing her voice echo throughout the palace. There was no answer. The palace was dark, as the insides of Raven's mind could not quite be considered 'daylight', and so Starfire noticed that one of the rooms on the second floor had a light on. Following her instincts, she took the stairs, timidly approaching the dimly-lit area.

"Starfire, is that you?"

The voice startled her. Starfire looked up and saw Affection. She was wearing a dark purple cloak.

"It is lovely to meet you," said Starfire politely, bowing. Although Affection might have been 'highly charged' but she certainly didn't look it. Instead, the embodied emotion looked tired, and sad.

Affection approached Starfire and reached out her hand to stroke the Tamaranian's face. "You are beautiful."

Starfire felt herself turn red. "I am worried about you."

"I am worried about myself as well," the emotion confessed, breaking contact with Starfire and letting her glance fall to the ground.

"I have come to save you."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Affection glanced up to her again, making contact. Her eyes were so sad, Starfire observed.

"Of course I do, Raven. It is all I have been trying to accomplish. I acknowledge now that this has been my fault, and if I could somehow reverse the events of the last weeks, I most certainly would, if only to keep you from losing control of the other emotions, and to keep you safe."

"Do you remember what you said to me, that night at the pool? Do you remember what it was that caused that quake to happen?"

Starfire took a moment to think. It wasn't hard to recall the events of that night, as they had haunted her every night since.

_ "Perhaps we can help you. Together. Your powers may be too strong to take on yourself, but together we may discover a way to—"_

_"You don't know what you're talking about!"_

_"Why do you doubt this so much? Is it that you don't want it?"_

_"That's not what it is! You can't understand!"_

_"Raven, I am in love with-"_

* * *

Raven took a moment to think. "No, I don't think I understand what you mean. Beast Boy, I appreciate the concern but this is really no time to discuss this."

"You can't keep running from the way you feel," he said.

Raven began to get annoyed. This _really_ wasn't the time to be discussing this, not when something so much worse might be happening. And besides, since when did Beast Boy get all deep and conceptual? "I don't think it's any of your business."

"It might not have been at first, but it is now." He was obviously feeling bold. "I think it's everyone's problem, now. Especially Starfire's."

Raven stopped what she was doing, and stared at Beast Boy. "What exactly are you trying to say?"

"Forget the black magic, Rae. You're thinking about things too rationally. _Love_ isn't rationally."

She scowled, and without thinking, she blurted back, "And just what do you know about love?"

Beast Boy's green cheeks tinged a light pink. "You weren't supposed to ever know about this… but… there was a time when I felt the same way about _you_."

Raven's mind flashed back to that morning that she had caught Beast Boy in the living room, transformed as a mouse. She'd suspected as much, but she just brushed it off. Even now, she found it hard that _anyone_ could harbor those kinds of feelings toward her. Hearing it straight from his mouth, it made her feel a little uncomfortable, but also a little sad.

"But don't worry about it," he quickly spat out, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "That was a while ago. And besides, I know how you feel about Starfire."

"No, you don't," she said, defensively.

"Raven, I do. I even spoke to her about it."

She froze. "You w-what?"

"I think you should trust me when I say that she really, _really_ cares about you. Stop worrying about black magic because like I said, love is irrational. It's a kind of magic all on its own. Starfire needs you just as much as you need her, so I think maybe you should stop running from that. Remember, I was in your mind once too. I met all the different parts of you, so I have an idea of what Starfire is going through right now. You should just be true to yourself."

Beast Boy had rendered Raven speechless. He decided that it was time for her to be alone.

* * *

Starfire looked to the floor, unable to keep eye contact with Affection. She felt embarrassed. She didn't want to think of how such a selfish confession caused so much trouble.

"Yes," she mumbled.

"Why did you say that to me?"

Happiness' advice echoed in her ears. _"Remember one thing: be honest."_

"I said that to you because… when I first met you, Raven, I always looked up to you. I always wanted to be like you, and I also thought that you were very pretty." Starfire's cheeks burned, but she continued. "After spending all of that time with you, in the past couple of weeks, I realized that… that this might be what Earthlings call… love."  
The grounds began to quiver, much like they had that night.

"Did you mean it?" Affection asked, raising her voice above the rumbling around them.

Starfire swallowed. "Yes. I meant it. I'm sorry if that was an inappropriate time to express myself, Raven, but I wanted you to know exactly how I felt. I cannot help it of I anticipate the time I spend with you. When I am with you, I cannot help it if I think about holding your hand, or wanting to sit a little bit closer to you. And Raven, I want to kiss you. I enjoy kissing you in a way that I never enjoyed kissing Robin. If that is not love, then I do not think I will ever understand what it truly is."

The ground stopped moving, and all fell silent.

Starfire hadn't noticed it before, because she was so focused on choosing her words right, but Affection was crying. Tears were streaming down the purple-cloaked girl's cheeks.

"Raven! Please don't cry… I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" Looking at the other girl's tears brought out tears of her own.

"Starfire, I'm not crying because I'm sad," Affection explained, and before Starfire could respond, Affection had moved forward and pressed her lips against Starfire's. As the kiss deepened, Starfire felt as if she was being swallowed whole, and then everything went dark.

* * *

Raven was crying, flooded with sadness at Beast Boy's words and what they had revealed to her. If he was right, then it really _was_ her that endangered Starfire. If he was right, then it was all due to her stubbornness and uncertainty. It was hard for her, as she had never been one to allow herself to feel such things, willingly, but she knew it was true. Beast Boy was right, there was no use in denying it: she was in love with Starfire.

Everything about Starfire. The bubbliness, the cheerfulness, the enthusiasm, those green eyes and soft hair, her scent, her body, her touch, her kiss. Even her idiosyncrasies, the way she spoke, her adorable disbelief at such simple earthly customs… Raven wanted them. She felt attached to Starfire in a way that she never believed she'd feel for anyone.

Closing her eyes, she focused on steadying her breathing. Then, she focused her energy. Her tired voice said, _"Azerath, Metrion, Zinthos."_

_tbc._

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hi there! I can't believe I'm actually beginning to wrap up this story. I think I began writing this in like 2005 or 2006. Then I carried it over to this account, rewrote it and now here I am. I originally planned to end the story in this chapter, but it's going to take one more. I'm not sure if I'm happy with this chapter or not, but I'll let you be the judge. Hopefully I'll finish up the final chapter and have that posted soon. Thank you everyone for all of your encouragement! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, if it was too sappy, not sappy enough, etc.!


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